people who do nothing for a living

Meet Freddie Fackelmayer, Jay’s Replacement on The City

Jay Lyons won’t appear on The City next season, which is kind of sad because his shades, seeming inability to shower, and the name of his band (Tamarama, but you knew that, obviously) were great sources of entertainment. (We’ve heard from a source close to Jay that he left the show because he couldn’t handle girls writing negative things about him on blogs. Whatever that’s about.) Instead, MTV has arranged for Whitney to fictitiously date a fellow named Freddie Fackelmayer, according to “Page Six.” They were seen “cuddling” at Lily Pond in the Hamptons over the weekend, which is your first indication as to what kind of person this guy is. He supposedly works in commercial real estate. He’s publicly listed on Facebook, where he unabashedly flaunts a shiny set of pecs and a tan that we have a hunch didn’t come for free. We can’t yet confirm that, unlike Jay, Freddie frequents the Shower, but at least Whitney’s face should undergo much less chafing this season. And Freddie Fackelmayer’s name is, if not the sexiest, certainly fun to say.

CHANGING TASTE [NYP]

Meet Freddie Fackelmayer, Jay’s Replacement on The City