Diane Von Furstenberg will now be solving your quandaries for the Cut. To submit a question, e-mail askthecut@nymag.com.
Dear Diane: How should I behave on a first date?
Do NOT think of it as a date. Enjoy meeting a new person, find out who that person is. Discover. Put them at ease, create intimacy. Intimacy does not mean going to bed with someone. Intimacy is paying attention. Pay attention to the person. Don’t think “he is not right for me.” He may not be right for you and become a friend. Discover him and let him discover you. Have no expectation except in meeting someone new. The rest will happen or not. But it is always a good idea to surprise! When Barry asked me out to dinner for the first time 37 years ago, I prepared a dinner at my house and surprised him when he came to pick me up! Surprising is always good!
Dear Diane: What’s the best way to ask for a promotion?
The first questions you have to ask yourself are, “Do I deserve it?” and, “Why?” Be hard on yourself while you question yourself. If you think you deserve it, then go for it and explain the reason. Do NOT whine. No tears in the eyes, no complaints. Go with the positives and the positives only. Explain that you deserve the promotion and that with that, you will build ahead for the company. If you are absolutely sure that you deserve it, you will get it. But do NOT be a victim, be a leader. Since I have worked for myself since I was 22, I could not go and ask for a promotion, but I often had to make presentations and sell myself. Sometimes I was turned down and I always tried to turn the rejection into something positive. It is not easy, but almost always there is a better opportunity hidden behind the lost one. The lesson I took from those rejections is that I look at the glass half full and not half empty!
For more from Diane von Furstenberg, visit her company’s blog.
