The Fug Girls Live-Blog the 2014 Golden Globes Red Carpet

And so it begins: The inaugural dog-and-pony show of 2014’s awards season kicks off when the first designer-shoe-clad foot steps on tonight’s Golden Globes red carpet, and Hollywood stars send out the lead-off hitter in their wardrobe. Do they debut with a bang? Do they open things quietly and save the best for last? Do they come out in a ballet tutu (hi, Lara Flynn Boyle!) so that expectations are severely lowered for the rest of the year? We’ll find out in a moment, so please join us as we live-blog the festivities in 3 … 2 … 1 …

And tune in as Matt Zoller Seitz live-blogs the awards show.

Fug Girls Live-Blog the Golden Globes Red Carpet

(01/12/2014)

  

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5:57	The Fug Girls:  And here we go! Hope you've all got your wine poured and your bag of Doritos open for the first major awards show of the year. Rumor has it, a huge pipe burst just a few hours ago on the red carpet, so...that should be interesting. Sunday January 12, 2014 5:57 The Fug Girls

6:02

The Fug Girls:  We already know that Lupita Nyong'o is wearing a red Ralph Lauren -- with cape! Be still our beating hearts -- and can't wait to see it. As the show goes live, it doesn't LOOK like anyone's having to wade through raw sewage. Instead, we get Zooey Deschanel in an Oscar de la Renta dress she calls "gold," but looks very pale on camera. She also has a flower tucked behind her ear, which feels very Zooey, doesn it? Ryan is very good at pretending that he really, really cares about her nail art. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:02 The Fug Girls

6:05

The Fug Girls:  In the distance, we see Aubrey Plaza in purple and Aaron Eckhart posing for a selfie with a delighted-seeming fan. Meanwhile, Guiliana has Hayden Panettiere, looking pretty chic in a black and white Tom Ford and a slicked-back bob. It's nice to see her looking like a grown-up. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:05 The Fug Girls

6:05	[Comment From EmmeEmme: ]  WHERE IS THE MANI CAM??? Sunday January 12, 2014 6:05 Emme

6:05	The Fug Girls:  Where IS the mani cam? These are the most important questions of our lives. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:05 The Fug Girls

6:07	The Fug Girls:  Can we also talk about the fact that Kelly's hair is STILL purple? At least we can give her credit for adherence to theme. She models for the Glam Cam 360 and Ross is all, "GIRL, you look like a wax figure!!" Ross, that is not a compliment! Sunday January 12, 2014 6:07 The Fug Girls

6:09	The Fug Girls:  Michelle Dockery pops up right before Ryan throws to commercial. Her wavy, chin-length bob is the platonic ideal of a wavy, chin-length bob, but we can't really see what she's wearing yet. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:09 The Fug Girls

6:13

The Fug Girls:  Kevin Spacey is wearing velvet. We repeat, Kevin Spacey is, like George Costanza, draped in velvet. While he yaps with Ryan, Amber Heard gets out of her limo sporting very HIGH hair. Leslie Mann is wearing a black lace peplum dress and can we not with the peplums anymore? Elsewhere, Tatiana Masley is wearing something slinky and beaded and she just might look amazing. (But what are her clones wearing?!) Sunday January 12, 2014 6:13 The Fug Girls

6:15	The Fug Girls:  Stop the presses: Ryan and Giuliana appear to hate one another marginally less than they used to, as they just chatted for minutes without Ryan grimacing like someone was stabbing him in the hand with a fork. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:15 The Fug Girls

6:23

The Fug Girls:  Along with peplums, can we put the Heidi braids that Sarah Hyland is sporting onto the "No More, Please," list? There is a lot happening on her face right now, in fact, because she is sporting a REALLY strong brow. Sarah does get to have her fingers take the first walk into the mani cam, though, so those of you who were worried that it had been fired can rest easy. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:23 The Fug Girls

6:26

The Fug Girls:  And here's Naomi Watts, also in Tom Ford, in a very slinky silver bias-cut number. She looks good, especially if you -- like we -- cannot resist some sparkle. While she's chatting, we get to see Lupita Nyong'o, whose red Ralph Lauren is very much like a red version of Gwyneth's white Tom Ford caped number from the Oscars. She is WORKING IT, though, and her makeup, as usual, is perfect. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:26 The Fug Girls

6:33

The Fug Girls:  Lena Dunham's in a bright yellow Zac Posen -- she also wore Zac Posen to the Emmys -- and the color is lovely on her but the jury is out on the rest of it. Zosia Mamet, on the other hand, looks much better than usual in a white gown with black flower detailing, and a very cute new short haircut. Elisabeth Moss, newly arrived, looks possibly FANTASTIC in a oxblood and black beaded number. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:33 The Fug Girls

6:35

The Fug Girls:  Giuliana has managed to speak to Lupita, who is really insanely good-looking. She seems both delighted and slightly patronizing of the mani cam, which is exactly how you should react to the mani cam. Amy Adams might seriously ALSO be wearing a cape. Is everyone wearing a cape this year? Is 2014 the Year of The Cape? That would be tremendous. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:35 The Fug Girls

6:35	[Comment From IsabelWilkinsonIsabelWilkinson: ]  How dare Giuliana make Lupita mani-cam. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:35 IsabelWilkinson

6:36	The Fug Girls:  Will Forte is wearing his lucky socks. They're Clippers socks. Speaking of delights. On the red carpet, Andy Samberg looks really, really confused, like he fell asleep at home and woke up on at the Globes. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:36 The Fug Girls

6:39

The Fug Girls:  Elisabeth Moss is wearing J. Mendel and it's got some sheerness happening, but it really does seem to work on her. Giuliana, of Elisabeth's hair, "it's, like, messy, but, like, DONE." The best minds of our generation, people. Elisabeth is asked to do the mani cam, and she keeps giving G a series of tiny heart attacks by flipping off the mani camera as the E! people cut away in sheer terror. She also says she loves the Globes because you get to sit down. Bless her. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:39 The Fug Girls

6:40	[Comment From GinaGina: ]  What no mani cam for Will Forte? Sunday January 12, 2014 6:40 Gina

6:42	The Fug Girls:  We just recognized Matthew McConaughey from behind. Is that a good or a bad sign? Sunday January 12, 2014 6:42 The Fug Girls

6:44

The Fug Girls:  Tina Fey, in a red-on-black (we think) gown, looks very Sophisticated Disney Princess, but I mean it as a compliment. Amy is rocking a black Stella McCartney and a really sleek blowout. We hope this isn't the year America jumps the shark with them, because they sincerely are very smart and funny. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:44 The Fug Girls

6:45	The Fug Girls:  Saw the back of a woman in a very slinky red gown with a bare back (the back of Amy Adams sans cape, perhaps?) and so of course E went straight to... Eric Stonestreet. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:45 The Fug Girls

6:46

The Fug Girls:  And indeed, it was Amy Adams, who just stepped in the spot Stonestreet vacated. Her top is very American hustle bare, and we wish she had a red lip on with the two-tone-red gown, but it's definitely more adventurous than anything she's worn in previous seasons. This is The Year of The Cleavadams. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:46 The Fug Girls

6:47	The Fug Girls:  And, The Cut is building an ever-growing slideshow of all the Globes red carpet looks, so keep looking and refreshing: http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/01/all-the-red-carpet-looks-from-the-golden-globes.html Sunday January 12, 2014 6:47 The Fug Girls

6:48	The Fug Girls:  This is the night on which we learn that Bryan Cranston's wife kind of looks like Barbara Hershey. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:48 The Fug Girls

6:48	[Comment From MandeeMandee: ]  Amy's dress was way more impressive with the cape on. Looks like an apron without it. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:48 Mandee

6:50

The Fug Girls:  Kaley Cuoco seems to be having problems with her dress staying up. It's pink with flowers, but from a distance it looks like the kind of smeary dirt you get when you're caught out in the rain dancing with a young Nazi in and around a gazebo, and have to climb through your governess's window while she prays. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:50 The Fug Girls

6:50	[Comment From RebekahRebekah: ]  Ugh. Ross and Kelly. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:50 Rebekah

6:51	The Fug Girls:  Leonardo DiCaprio seems to be entering a phase of his life where he's going to look 43 for a really, really long time. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:51 The Fug Girls

6:52	[Comment From JenJen: ]  Amy Adams team probably pulled the cape when the saw the glory that is Lupita Sunday January 12, 2014 6:52 Jen

6:52

The Fug Girls:  Indeed, we are very curious why we haven't seen better shots of Amy in the cape/overcoat/whatever that coordinated with her dress. Either they scrambled after they heard Lupita did a similar idea, OR everyone just said, "Bring out the breasts." Sunday January 12, 2014 6:52 The Fug Girls

6:53	The Fug Girls:  Seeing this ad for an Alton Brown show in the middle of E!'s telecast makes me wish he was hosting this. Just to see. Everyone could come by and chop something while they talk. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:53 The Fug Girls

6:56

The Fug Girls:  We're back with Andy Samberg, but AHA, we get a peek of Blanchett while he's talking. It is ethereal and black (we think?) and she and Lupita Nyong'o could have a contest with their skin: Whichever finds a visible pore first gets ... well, it won't matter, because nobody will find one. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:56 The Fug Girls

6:57	The Fug Girls:  It's always such a relief to see Bradley Cooper without his perm, although we wish he had acquired one to wear tonight as an homage. He could've dyed it red. Like Man-Annie. Mannie. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:57 The Fug Girls

6:58

The Fug Girls:  Margot Robbie looks gorgeous in a light dress with blingy trim, and without her Wolf of Wall Street tan. We initially wrote that she looks a lot like Jaime Kennedy. Then we realized the name we were looking for was "Jaime Pressley," and in fact, she looks nothing like Jamie Kennedy, who is a man. Sunday January 12, 2014 6:58 The Fug Girls

7:00

The Fug Girls:  Emma Watson is in orangey-red; Taylor Schilling from "Orange Is The New Black" is not. Her gown is green, with a lingerie-adjacent bodice, but her center-parted hair is hanging in her face and she may one day regret that. Which sounds more menacing than we meant it. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:00 The Fug Girls

7:03

The Fug Girls:  Kerry Washington popped into Seth Meyers' interview and then popped out again. She made him autograph a copy of his "Time" magazine cover and he scolded, "These do NOT end up on eBay!" She is now fangirling about him. it's quite sweet. She is in a Balenciaga of a challenging shade -- it looks like a very light grey? Or a very light gray-green? And it's gracefully split to frame the bump, which is exciting, because FINALLY we can talk about this. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:03 The Fug Girls

7:04

The Fug Girls:  Julianna Margulies is in Andrew Gn, and it's gorgeous -- a classy, classic shape, black with gold-leaf-looking designs on the shoulders and hem. We didn't hate Kelly Osbourne's dress but this version of it is better and may make that one very sad about itself. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:04 The Fug Girls

7:04	The Fug Girls:  It will startle you to know that Sofia Vergara has a lot of cleav on display. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:04 The Fug Girls

7:04	[Comment From RebekahRebekah: ]  Julianna Margulies looks like the evil queen from Snow White, but a very beautiful even queen. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:04 Rebekah

7:04	[Comment From GuestGuest: ]  Emma Watson is wearing black pants under her red dress! Sunday January 12, 2014 7:04 Guest

7:05	The Fug Girls:  We have not seen this yet and that agitates us. PLEASE SHOW US THE POTENTIALLY DISASTROUS PANTS. Also, Bono, stop wearing tinted sunglasses everywhere. You're not Tim Burton and it's even sort of tiresome from him. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:05 The Fug Girls

7:06	[Comment From MegMeg: ]  He wears the glasses because he has eye issues. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:06 Meg

7:06	The Fug Girls:  All right, now we feel bad. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:06 The Fug Girls

7:07	The Fug Girls:  Cate Blanchett just told Bono that U2's first album was really good. That is the most tremendous accidental backhanded compliment. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:07 The Fug Girls

7:07	[Comment From GuestGuest: ]  a photo of amy adams pre-cape removal: http://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/news-photo/71st-annual-golden-globe-awards-pictured-actress-amy-adams-news-photo/462081791 Sunday January 12, 2014 7:07 Guest

7:08	The Fug Girls:  Cate's gown has a very deep sexy back, and we can't spot (yet) any illusion netting there. She is a brave lady. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:08 The Fug Girls

7:09	The Fug Girls:  For red carpet pics as we go, check The Cut's slideshow, which is ever-expanding to get it ALL covered: http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/01/all-the-red-carpet-looks-from-the-golden-globes.html Sunday January 12, 2014 7:09 The Fug Girls

7:10

The Fug Girls:  Olivia Wilde is presenting. Of course. She's in a green sparkly dress that we only saw the top of, because we had to cut to Bradley Cooper. Can't we see him in the little box in the corner while they go hunting for dresses? Does no one put Bradley in a box? Sunday January 12, 2014 7:10 The Fug Girls

7:11	[Comment From AmyAmy: ]  Olivia Wilde has officially "made it"- she showed up at the respectable time of 4:10. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:11 Amy

7:11	[Comment From Brooke BBrooke B: ]  "Your first album was really good," to U2, and "No, who's he?" re: Leo. CATE BLANCHETT WITH THE FROSTY JOKE LASER! Sunday January 12, 2014 7:11 Brooke B

7:12	The Fug Girls:  Bradley Cooper is in Tom Ford, looking smooth. it's been a good night for Tom Ford. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:12 The Fug Girls

7:13

The Fug Girls:  E! cut to commercial on a shot of Reese Witherspoon in an aqua form-fitting gown that might actually be really stunning in its color/simplicity. She also had side-bangs going that remind us of the Divorce Bangs she wore that year with the canary Nina Ricci cocktail dress. You know the one. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:13 The Fug Girls

7:14	[Comment From BrittBritt: ]  Leo asked Cate about her interview with Seacrest, and she responded "I hated every second of it." All caught on E! Sunday January 12, 2014 7:14 Britt

7:15	[Comment From SimoneSimone: ]  EMMA IS ACTUAL WEARING PANTS. DRESS AT THE FRONT, PANTS AT THE BACK. E NEEDS TO FOCUS ON THIS BEFORE I GO INSANE WONDERING. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:15 Simone

7:16	The Fug Girls:  E! needs to get Emma Watson, stat, and so instead... Jim Parsons. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:16 The Fug Girls

7:17	The Fug Girls:  Jared Leto has scraped his locks into a bun with a tail. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:17 The Fug Girls

7:19

The Fug Girls:  Kate Mara is blonde now; we'd like a closer look, but E! would rather show us people we see all the time, like Sofia Vergara. However, Melissa McCarthy is here, in a black dress with a glittery collar that starts halfway around her neck, comes down half of her cleav, and then across and down to the bottom. It might work. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:19 The Fug Girls

7:20

The Fug Girls:  Julia Roberts' top half looks like a white blouse under a strapless dress, and Jenna Dewan -- whose dress, in this brief glimpse, might have been pretty -- had issues with the bodice squishing her so mightily that things were in danger of trying to escape. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:20 The Fug Girls

7:20	[Comment From MaryAnnMaryAnn: ]  My 8 year-old daughter just sadly announced, "Hermione, you let me down." Sunday January 12, 2014 7:20 MaryAnn

7:21	The Fug Girls:  We switched to NBC in time to see Jimmy Fallon. We are destined NEVER to see the damn Watson pants. We DID get to see Helen Mirren shimmying in green, though, and that's never a waste of time. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:21 The Fug Girls

7:22	The Fug Girls:  E!'s preview for The Monuments Men made it look, potentially inaccurately, kind of like "International Treasure: Book of Hitler." Sunday January 12, 2014 7:22 The Fug Girls

7:27

The Fug Girls:  Olivia Wilde looks great. Her green sparkles are by Gucci. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is in an orange or red halter, and Mila Kunis, we thought was Sarah Hyland for a second. Her gown is grey/silver and seems lovely, except she might need a lip. Then we're yanked to Giuliana's lair, in time for her seemingly to forget Camila Alves's name and then stretch out her intro a really long time until her producer fed it to her. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:27 The Fug Girls

7:28	The Fug Girls:  Chastain is in black and it might be really good. We also saw Drew Barrymore in a pink, orange, and red flowered thing that seems SO VERY like what I imagine her aura looks like. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:28 The Fug Girls

7:29

The Fug Girls:  Julia's Dolce and Gabbana is... not working. It's unflattering as hell, and doesn't look like it came this way -- which surely it did, but it LOOKS cobbled together. The elbow-length blouse looks stuffed under a skintight black strapless dress with a sparkly waist detail. No. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:29 The Fug Girls

7:30

The Fug Girls:  Taylor Swift is in a red and black gown that looks better from the back than the front, but it's at least super unusual for her. Jennifer Lawrence was brought up behind her to the waiting room and she made a huge goofy thing of creeping up there. Her dress appears to be white. HOLD PLEASE. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:30 The Fug Girls

7:31

The Fug Girls:  Jennifer Lawrence's poofy white dress looks bound by gaffer tape. She is having a moment with Taylor Swift about how she freaked out watching Taylor Swift at the CMAs. They're fangirling each other and apparently J.Law sent Taylor a six-inch text message all about how great she was. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:31 The Fug Girls

7:33	The Fug Girls:  In announcing she's wearing Dior, Jennifer joked about it being a total shocker. And then one of her bracelets flew off, which was very nearly an expensive insurance issue. maybe that was the Dior gods punishing her for being flip. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:33 The Fug Girls

7:34	The Fug Girls:  Chiwetel Ejiofor is better looking than his beard. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:34 The Fug Girls

7:36

The Fug Girls:  Sarah Paulson has come a long way from Jack and Jill. She's in a silvery lacy tea-length number, which might not be terrible. Drew Barrymore, on the other hand, looks decoupaged and is talking about how she has a photo book of heart shapes -- literally, just heart shapes, of course -- coming out on Tuesday. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:36 The Fug Girls

7:38	The Fug Girls:  Julia Louis-Dreyfus is lovely in an orange halter-top Narciso. Giuliana of course asks her about her work-out routine. JLD basically said she believes in moderation, because no one's going to go, "I haven't eaten in three weeks, Giuliana." Sunday January 12, 2014 7:38 The Fug Girls

7:39	The Fug Girls:  Ryan seriously just called Chris Pine, "Chris Brine." He is not a turkey, Ryan. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:39 The Fug Girls

7:45	The Fug Girls:  Ryan has Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, who is in a beaded blue Roberto Cavalli and looks slightly less crazy than usual (she has a tendency to dress like a chandelier, although we do treasure them together). Sunday January 12, 2014 7:45 The Fug Girls

7:45	The Fug Girls:  E's Glam Cam rotates too fast; we're all going to barf up our wine and Doritos if they don't slow that mother down a hair. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:45 The Fug Girls

7:48	The Fug Girls:  You can tell this is the moment where they're forcing everyone to go inside; no one is behind Giuliana other than harried-looking PR reps. We still haven't seen Chastain OR Zoe Saldana -- who, sources tell us, looks totally wacky. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:48 The Fug Girls

7:52

The Fug Girls:  And here's Zoe Saldana, who is is in Prabal, and it's....really....ridiculous, part-sheer and mullet-of-hem. Apparently, Prabal told her that no one else could wear it but her, which we are pretty sure means, "because sometimes you can pull off totally wacky shit." Sunday January 12, 2014 7:52 The Fug Girls

7:53	The Fug Girls:  By the way, Sofia Vergara looks exactly the way you would imagine she would look if someone told her she wasn't allowed to wear a fishtail on pain of death. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:53 The Fug Girls

7:56	[Comment From Judith in OttawaJudith in Ottawa: ]  Zoe sounded like she had been emotionally blackmailed. And was painfully aware of the cost. Sunday January 12, 2014 7:56 Judith in Ottawa

7:59	The Fug Girls:  And that's the end of the night! Thanks for hanging out with us, everyone -- see you at the next one! Everyone in oxfords under ballgowns, okay? Sunday January 12, 2014 7:59 The Fug Girls

8:00