Vogue, bless their hearts, just published an article titled “An Actress Marries a Prince at a Beautiful Summer Wedding in Bavaria.” If, upon seeing the headline, you also clicked the link so quickly that you may have sprained your wrist, you will be dearly rewarded — because every single attendee at the nuptials of Cleopatra von Adelsheim von Ernest (“an actress and model working in Germany — but also a baroness”) and Hereditary Prince Franz Albrecht zu Oettingen-Spielberg has a completely bonkers name. (Yes, even more so than what we’ve come to expect from Vogue weddings.)
The monikers mentioned throughout the article fall into at least one or more of the following categories: mononymous, multi-hypenated, extremely rich, “how did this even fit on a place card?”, and virtually unpronounceable. So, without further ado, here is every name ranked from most to least absurd. And a hearty prost to the happy couple.
15. Albrecht, 11th Prince of Oettingen-Oettingen und Oettingen-Spielberg
14. His wife, Angela
13. Hereditary Prince Franz Albrecht zu Oettingen-Spielberg
12. German hair guru Shan Rahimkhan
11. Princess Isabella Gaetani von Lobkowicz
10. Munich star caterer Käfer
9. Well-known Italian DJ Matteo Ceccarini
8. Countess Beatrice Borromeo Casiraghi
7. Cleopatra von Adelsheim von Ernest
6. Louis von Adelsheim
5. Luisa Beccaria
4. Dentelle Rachel (a kind of lace)
3. Sandra Mansour
2. St. Jacob (a church)
1. Prince Harry
