theories

Writer: Maybe There Are Two Brett Kavanaughs, and the Bad One Is Somewhere Else

Two Brett Kavanaughs.
Brett Kavanaughs. Photo: Getty Images

Everyone knows that Brett Kavanaugh has been accused of sexual assault. What a new article presupposes is … maybe he has a look-alike running around who actually did it?

An opinion piece by the Washington Post’s conservative columnist, Kathleen Parker, suggests that we’ve been getting it all wrong regarding the Supreme Court nominee. To recap: Kavanaugh has been accused of pinning down and groping California psychology professor Christine Blasey Ford when she was 15 and he was 17. The reactions to Ford’s sexual-assault allegations have been mixed. Critics have either outwardly dismissed her as a liar or argued that, even if her story is true, he was so young at the time that it shouldn’t count against him. Supporters believe that this should disqualify Kavanaugh from the Supreme Court position.

Kathleen Parker, meanwhile, urges us to consider that perhaps the sexual assault happened … but that an evil Kavanaugh doppelganger was behind it:

Could there have been another, Kavanaugh-ish-looking teen at the house that night, who might have attacked Ford?

She continues by outlining several cases of mistaken identity, like one involving ’30s-era gangster John Dillinger, before concluding:

Thus, giving both the benefit of the doubt, it seems possible to believe both that Ford was assaulted just as she has described — and also that Kavanaugh didn’t do it. In a case without evidence, witnesses or corroboration, mistaken identity would provide a welcome resolution to this terrible riddle.

May you all have the same confidence and conviction to boldly put your crackpot theories out into the universe!

Writer: Maybe There Are Two Brett Kavanaughs