the cut opinion pages

Apps Can Take a Hike

Apps. Photo: Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto via Getty Images

I have a hot take, which is that apps suck. I know this is old, but I thought they would be gone by now. They’re all just so small, it feels like trying to live inside a dollhouse. Yes, they’re cute, and some are useful, but ultimately they’re just so cramped!! Everything’s an app, but why, WHY does everything have to be an app?

My friend and I had an idea for a website, and then we realized that there was basically already an app for what we had in mind, which was like, okay, fair enough — but we hadn’t wanted to make it an app. Is being an app also a universal staked claim?

How is everyone so into apps? Is everyone really so into apps? I feel like I missed the memo back in 2011. I mean, I’m on my phone as much as the next person, but I don’t understand how everything in life — meditation, love, books, water, health, religion, games, news, everything — can fit into an app. It feels like trying to address life’s most important questions with, like, a charm bracelet. I’m speaking in unfairly broad strokes, but these apps are just too small! Why is everything an app? When did we ACCEPT THIS WAY OF LIFE?

God, I hate them ALL, except for Clue, and the voice-memo app, and the weather one.

Apps Can Take a Hike