good dogs

When You’re Too Baby

Photo: damedeeso/Getty Images/iStockphoto

What happens when you are baby, and a very good dog, but maybe a bit too baby? Unfortunately, that is the road that leads to canine pacifier overdose and it is a very dark way to bottom out.

The Associated Press reported on Thursday that the Angell Animal Medical Center in Boston recently admitted Mortimer, a 3-year-old bulldog, after his owners became concerned over their pet’s apparent lack of appetite. X-rays of Mortimer’s stomach revealed the culprit to be a staggering 19 baby pacifiers. How did this happen? The AP postulates that Mortimer had been taking pacifiers from the Wellesey family’s two young children and swallowing them over the course of several months. As you can see, Mortimer has the long-term planning of an adult with a pension fund, but the risk-reward determinations of a baby.

Mortimer’s troubles began in April when, according to family members, he began to get nauseous before meals at which point his owner, Emily Shanahan, brought him to the vet for an examination. The doctor prescribed Mortimer anti-nausea medication, to little effect, hence the return visit. Once the problem was identified, doctors were able to remove the obstructing pacifiers without surgery and Mortimer was quickly sent home

Clearly Wellesley goes hard and is surrounded by people who care for him, but frankly I am curious how his owners did not notice that 19 pacifiers had gone missing. Probably it is indicative of parenting being a demanding and sleep-depriving endeavor. It is almost definitely that and not a thrilling Phantom Thread–style ploy by the Wellesley family to hold on to Mortimer’s love.

When You’re Too Baby