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Stars Fail Girlfriend Test at Matthew Williamson

Matthew Williamson’s collection wards off celebrities.Photographs by FirstView


gossip junkies, we adore wicked tales of starlets and social butterflies coming undone. We just didn’t think we would see it happen so literally.

When Camilla Al Fayed swanned into British designer Matthew Williamson’s Wednesday afternoon show, three of the six buttons on the back of her cream sheath had popped open. Clearly, she needs new girlfriends, as the ragged blonde she brought with her did nothing to alert Camilla to this unsightly yet amusing faux pas. We briefly considered making a citizen’s arrest for a flagrant violation of the Girl Code but decided against it when it became clear that Camilla and Guest planned to spend the entire show hidden pretentiously behind dark sunglasses. If you aren’t Anna Wintour, pocket the shades, ladies.

Stylist Rachel Zoe arrived with client Mischa Barton in tow, presumably to get her withered mitts on Williamson’s handful of granny dresses before anyone else could. And Barton HAS been into shapeless “Bingo Night” fashions lately, including the sky-blue shift she wore to the show. We do understand mistaking a day with the crinkled Zoe for an outing with somebody’s Great Aunt Marge, but that doesn’t explain Barton’s choices the rest of the time.

We also spied Food Network darling Giada De Laurentiis accompanied by Katie Lee Joel. We love the idea of the pair sitting home watching Everyday Italian and eating Cheetos, but we suspect not all of that vision is entirely accurate.

The show was about to start when Victoria “Posh” Beckham swept in, all in black, save her lips, nails, and shoes, which were red. We’re pleased to report that her new, short haircut is cute, but very sorry to inform you that she seemed taken with most of Williamson’s more alarming creations, including a horrifying pair of silver leggings and a frock we’re pretty sure we saw on the cover of the latest Newport News catalog.

With any luck, a kind stylist — so, NOT Zoe — will push Posh gently in the direction of Williamson’s less frenetic embroidered tunic dress. Frankly, we just don’t think we can take seeing shiny silver leggings on the cover of Hello! And if we were friends with Posh, we’d tell her that. We’re good girlfriends.

The Fug Girls

Watch a slideshow of the Matthew Williamson collection.

Stars Fail Girlfriend Test at Matthew Williamson