Last season, Matthew Williamson’s show was chockablock with celebrities (Mischa Barton, Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham, and Giada de Laurentiis, to name a few). Tragically, this time around, the only repeat attendee that we could spot was Rachel Zoe, ostensibly there to see what loud, shapeless sheaths she could force on Mischa Barton this year.
Tragically for the rest of us, she’ll have a lot to choose from. We suspect the reason everyone else bagged on the British designer’s show was because they got a preview of it. Unless David Beckham has a real fetish for loud swimsuit cover-ups masquerading as dresses, giant whole-abalone-shell necklaces, billowing belted culottes, or BeDazzled panties worn over tights, it seems unlikely that even Posh would deign to be seen in anything as screamingly garish as most of this collection. Liza Minnelli herself would look at it and sniff, “That’s just too much, darling.” Even the models seemed disenchanted, as the range of Obi-Wan Kenobi–Goes to–the–disco hoodies slipped around, and bouclé sweaters required constant tugging to stay draped over their shoulders. One model stopped cold and kicked off her shoes halfway down the runway. We hear you, sister.
The one face we did recognize was that of petite British handbag designer Lulu Guinness, but it was in the unlikeliest of places: the line to get seat assignments, right alongside the rest of us plebes. We tried to eavesdrop on her conversation — we heard the words “seduce” and “glamour,” so whatever she was talking about, it was clearly something we needed to hear — but we all got hustled into our seats before we could overhear her secrets. Incidentally, her seat was in the fourth row. Which may have been a great relief to her; the higher up you are, the less anyone notices your brow furrowing.
They should really give out Botox in next year’s gift bags. —The Fug Girls
Watch a slideshow of the Matthew Williamson show.
Fug Girls Bonus: Overheard at the Tents
“Emmy Rossum is a nightmare to work with. She’s like an 80-year-old stage diva stuck in a 20-year-old girl’s body.” — anonymous magazine staffer