new york fugging city

Samuel L. Jackson at a Motherfugging Y-3 Show

I shall strike down upon brown bunnies with great vengeance and furious anger…Photo: Patrick McMullan

Thematically, the Y-3 show was all about the downpour: Fake thunder rolled, minions turned a hose on the runway to create puddles, and simulated rain poured outside and down the walls of the artsy Chelsea space. Unfortunately, this cleansing drizzle didn’t reach the ratty head of actor Vincent Gallo, who sat front row in his personal grease puddle. At first Gallo just stared menacingly into middle distance, scratching his matted beard, seemingly in the midst of plotting the best way to rip off someone’s extremities with his teeth. But then Gallo turned cheerful, and we soon saw why: A wee Lord & Taylor bag — clearly swag from another show — dangled from his claws. Obviously, the sweet fumes of a department-store gift card were lifting his dour mood. We’re sure he was positively dizzy with the prospect of going necktie shopping.

The MisShapes also snagged marquee seats, and we even caught the usually sullen Leigh Lezark daring to crack a smile. Who knew her facial muscles even did that? She’s clearly been taking tips from America’s Next Top Model and practicing in the mirror. The cameras abandoned her as soon as LL Cool J — whom, we hear, the ladies love — and very shorn Mena Suvari arrived. Mena looks much better with peach fuzz on her head than we thought she would. Britney Spears, take note.

And then, the photographers realized that the baddest mothereffer in the land was striding in for his mothereffing front-row seat. Samuel L. Jackson left his trademark Kangol hat at home, instead bringing his daughter Zoe along for the show. He seemed to enjoy himself, despite occasionally making sure his daughter wasn’t getting too attached to some of the racier sports/activewear pieces that came down the runway. And he thoughtfully made sure someone else in the Jackson entourage buffered her from Gallo, in case his fleas decided to relocate. That’s just good parenting all around. Again, Britney: We hope you’re paying attention. Well, actually, we hope you’re off reading some Jane Austen and drinking water, but that’s aiming a tad high. —The Fug Girls

Watch a slideshow of the Y-3 show.

Samuel L. Jackson at a Motherfugging Y-3 Show