We’ve literally spent months preparing for the release of Baby Phat’s Kimora Lee Simmons Barbie Doll; we even got a terrifying sneak peek of the damn thing at Fashion Week. But today we’re filled with a new level of fear upon learning that this little hell doll is back-ordered until February 29. We mean, it’s one thing to give your child a toy that looks like a miniature hooker. This is, after all, the day and age of the Bratz, so we can’t really judge anymore. But when said hooker doll has a wait list? We just don’t get it. So why is this particular plaything so great? The sales pitch is that the mini-Kimora is necessary to inspire your young’un to become a fashionista — because really, no 5-year-old girl’s life is complete without an understanding of fabulosity. As such, this doll wears a floor-length fur coat with pink leopard-print lining; Baby Phat describes the rest of the doll’s outfit accordingly:
…the Kimora doll is dressed in a retro pink dress with a golden waist clasp bearing the Baby Phat logo. Adorning her toned legs are sleek hot pink thigh high boots, and completing the outfit is her pink zebra-striped handbag, big golden hoop earrings and big, black VIP sunglasses.
Hm. Let’s be clear here: Even if you’re concerned about the fashionability of your young daughter, there is nothing fashionable about hot-pink thigh-high boots. A better fashion-plate doll would be Anna Wintour Barbie, perhaps in some Christian Louboutins and an Yves Saint Laurent dress. Now that’s a doll we could totally buy for our little one in good conscience. Come to think of it, if anyone ever decides to make one, please hook us up with an André Leon Talley Barbie, too. That sort of doll could be endlessly amusing and instructive.