When we spilled out of our cab two blocks from Oscar de la Renta’s show at the Third Church of Christ Science on Monday afternoon, approximately twenty minutes after the time on the invite (and therefore at least ten to fifteen minutes before the show realistically should have started), and spotted two women we recognized as front-row industry types running toward the venue, we knew we were screwed. When we — and they — hobbled breathlessly to the front door, some cameramen, also tardy, crowed, “Too late, ladies!” The PR girls made sympathetic faces and ushered us all into standing room, where we discovered that not only did the show start earlier than everyone anticipated, it actually may have started on time. Can you imagine? If this were Bizarro World, that would make Oscar de la Renta the new Marc Jacobs.
It also made for an interesting standing-room experience, as we were jammed in next to the photographers’ pit along with the likes of a top-hatted André Leon Talley and fellow Vogue stud, the dashing Hamish Bowles scribbling in his notebook, and Bergdorf Goodman’s Linda Fargo, all of whom surely had excellent seat assignments and must have assumed, as we had, that the show would be kicking off later than it did. As we tried to peer up at the clothes, a small woman with a camera came sneaking into our little den of tardiness and leaned over and whispered, “Are there any celebrities here?” We whispered that we didn’t know — the only person we could see, in fact, was stylist Rachel Zoe, who now has literally no lines on her face at all and is sort of starting to resemble Mary-Kate Olsen. Okay, technically, we also saw Regina Spektor, but only because she was performing on a raised platform while the models stomped past her. And while we don’t like to stereotype, we can’t help but think that the De la Renta crowd maybe didn’t expect to hear a woman crooning about “a little bag of cocaine” in a church.
Once the show was over, our friend with the camera grabbed another woman and asked if there had been any celebs at the show. The woman smiled. “The show started on time, and celebrities are always late,” was her only answer. Unfortunately, we have no such excuse. —The Fug Girls