Shows Starting on Schedule Wreak Havoc, Destroy Lives

Earlier today, the Fug Girls experienced the unmitigated horror that was the Oscar de la Renta show, which ran … on time. It is with great regret that we report that this was not an isolated event. In the past, even if you were running twenty or thirty minutes late, you’d have plenty of time to grab a coffee or even mingle/loiter around the runway. But so far, we’ve missed two shows owing to their insistence on being well run in a timely fashion: Jonathan Saunders and Thakoon. Not insignificantly, both were held off site (like De la Renta) and therefore shielded from Bryant Park’s bottleneck schedule. If three’s a trend, then we can declare that these on-time shows definitely don’t jibe with the world of the tardy tents. Further confusing matters are the off-site designers who do run their shows as if they were in the tents, like John Varvatos, whose show at 7 World Trade Center started the usual 45 minutes late. Make up your minds, people! We’re the media; help us to help you. More on this disturbing trend as it progresses. —Jada Yuan