The Hills’ Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag are so similar, yet so different: Both are blonde, both attended Los Angeles’ Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising — but only Lauren graduated! Stings, doesn’t it? Heidi, you’ll recall, dropped out to accept a position at a public-relations firm, climbing its corporate ladder while pissing off her co-workers and creating some of the best television ever. Now Montag, the Fashion Institute dropout, is designing an apparel line and ad campaign for Anchor Blue, a retail chain that targets teenage mall-going girls. Montag’s line, called Heidiwood — oh, how we wish we could make this stuff up — includes “striped dresses, colorful tank tops, signature T-shirts, black shorts, white-jean shirts and some bags and jewelry.” (We don’t know who wears white-jean shirts, either.) Montag will also appear in the ads coming out April 1, and we’re hoping for the kids’ sake that her boobs are not more prominent than her face. The line itself debuts April 15, and Montag will design two more collections after that. We don’t understand why Conrad or Whitney Port weren’t chosen for this project, since they actually work in fashion and whatnot. Nevertheless, we secretly can’t wait to see the look on Conrad’s face when someone breaks the news to her on the show.