We can officially confirm this season of America’s Next Top Model is going to be awesome. Perhaps even off the chain. The Post reports that the show’s fourteen contestants trashed the $6 million Tribeca loft they lived in for ten weeks:
Very telling! From this we may deduce the girls possibly engaged in the following action sequences:
• The Throwdown: One girl throws hot coffee in another’s face in a fit of anger. Both land in the bottom two during elimination and receive a scolding from Scary Tyra. One goes home.
• Lighthearted Play With an Angry Ending: “Oops, I got ketchup on your PJ’s!” First Girl squeals. Second Girl rubs her ketchuped ass on First Girl. A giggly running-through-the-house ketchup fight ensues, until the season’s Angry Girl threatens to tell Tyra.
• Damn, That Bitch Is Crazy: The Weird One decides she’s going to show her competition who’s truly on top by drawing her face on the wall in lipstick between the portraits of winners past.
• Posing Practice: Someone decides to practice her upside-down mermaid pose by dangling from the chandelier. The chandelier breaks, but wait! Tyra Maaaaaaaaaail! And no one notices.
• Fight Over “Disrespect”: Angry Girl confronts Messy Girl for splashing water all over her toothbrush and makeup-remover pads and “disrespecting her space.” In a cruel ironic twist Angry Girl collapses at a photo shoot from unknown causes which turn out to be mold allergies.
We can’t wait.