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An Open Letter to Marc Jacobs on the Matter of His New Beau

Marc and Austin at a good momentPhoto: Michael Wright/WENN

Dearest Marc,

We live in New York, so we understand finding nice, normal guys to date is about as rare as Hillary Clinton wearing Heatherette. But “Page Six” has an item today about your shenanigans with your new “friend” Austin A, and we’re a little concerned. It’s not because you kissed him and another guy who looked “just like” your ex, Jason Preston, at the same time. If threesomes float your and Austin’s boat, that’s totally cool by us. May you have them safely to your heart’s content. And if you acted a little crazy while you’re at it, like they’re saying you were, more power to you: Who doesn’t party in the singles arena after a long-term relationship? We want to see you celebrating your freedom and having that weight off your nicely toned shoulders.

What’s worrying us, however, is that you and Austin are already having screaming matches (at the Beverly Wilshire? So embarrassing). Isn’t that why you stuffed your ex onto a separate jet when your Turks and Caicos vacation came to a brutal halt? Are you really interested in another bottomless on-again-off-again sundae sprinkled with ugly fights? No cherry on top is going to sweeten that unappetizing deal, and you know it.

Anyway, we love you. Enjoy singlehood. You look fabulous. Ciao!

The Cut

One Guy’s Just Not Enough [NYP]

An Open Letter to Marc Jacobs on the Matter of His New Beau