dress code

Critiquing the Clothes in Angelina’s Jailbait Photo Shoot

Angelina Jolie isn’t the first star who fell prey to posing for a scantily clad photo shoot as a teenager (see Diaz, Cameron). But she’s arguably the most famous. In Touch Weekly has pics of a 16-year-old Angelina posing seductively, hoping to find instant stardom before a silver crushed velvet backdrop.

The mag also a video, but it’s currently down. The site was clearly not prepared for the kind of traffic that comes from seeing the world’s biggest movie star looking like a model for the Frederick’s of Hollywood swimsuit line. Until then we have to imagine that it starts with something like, “No, baby, that camera’s not on. The red light? That just means that it’s charging. By the way, what are you doing later?”

After the jump, we give Angie’s outfits “the treatment”…

Top row:

Rowr! She’s a genie in the bottle and she wants to rub you the right way. The way that will get you five years without possibility of parole.

Ah, yes, the swimsuit with pearl straps. For the woman who likes to perch coquettishly on the edge of the Jacuzzi but is so not getting her hair wet. Note how one of the straps falls alluringly off her shoulder. It is saying, “Please, drive me back to your place in your Chevy Camaro and make love to me on your waterbed.”

Bottom row:

The leather zip-up mock turtleneck leotard with lace tights is probably the greatest thing we’ve ever seen, especially because the way she’s kneeling on the chair makes her look like an amputee. She could be huge on the fetish sites.

The best of the bunch. This swimsuit actually looks pretty normal. Bonus feature: It can be used to ward off mosquitoes during the warm months should you happen to live near a body of standing water. —Noelle Hancock

Angelina’s sexy teen photos revealed! [In Touch]

Critiquing the Clothes in Angelina’s Jailbait Photo Shoot