We know last night’s Project Runway challenge was about making a dress for “a night out on the town,” but we don’t understand why all the designers thought that meant Tim was going to take them partying just to hunt for inspiration. Honestly, if they wanted nightclubs, they should’ve gone on the Real World. We especially don’t understand why Stella entertained the idea of going to Tim’s house, as if it were party central? Yes, she quickly ruled it out in favor of thinking Tim was going to take them to one of his favorite bars, but how did the thought enter her mind in the first place? She sure is a special one.
From the moment Daniel asks, “Are we going to the clubs?” when Tim comes by to pick everyone up and Tim simply replies, “Um, no,” we could tell we were in for Tim at his finest. He forces the designers onto the top deck of a blue double-decker bus even though the bus is empty and it’s raining. And the challenge doesn’t even have anything to do with the bus (a van would have done just as well): Tim dispatches groups of designers in various New York neighborhoods with digital cameras to — you guessed it! — take pictures of stuff that could inspire their designs. How totally innovative. Blayne and Stella get let off together in Times Square, where Stella can’t figure out how to use her camera. Blayne — sporting galoshes — to the rescue! Their combined awkwardness is one for the ages.
The next step in this unique challenge is to go shopping at Mood, the fabric store. This is very exciting, you see, because it’s already episode three, but the designers haven’t even been there yet! And Tim is adorably thrilled to take them for the first time. Stella unsurprisingly has trouble when they arrive because it’s “like a maze” and she keeps yelling for someone to help her. Oh, Stella: We’re not sure anybody can help you.
Back to the workroom, where Keith is assembling a dress that brings to mind Tibetan prayer flags and Stella is making everyone wish for death as she noisily hammers grommets: Tim arrives to survey the scene, and when he really doesn’t like an outfit, he looks down his nose at particularly steep angle. He can tell Keith’s outfit is a mess but doesn’t say much more than “keep going” — because, well, what else can you say to someone that far gone? Keith thinks this means he’s doing really well and uglies on. Tim also warns Emily her awful ruffle dress is “too costume-y”. But Emily could care less what Tim or anyone else thinks because she likes it, and as we all know on Project Runway if you like your own design that’s all that matters. As Tim’s leaving, he learns how to say “Holla atcha boy,” executing his newfound ghetto slang with a prissy hand flicks thrown in for effect.
Last-minute drama before Judgment Day: Keith’s model dropped out of the competition for undisclosed reasons (but seriously — what happened to her? We’re dying to know). He’s distraught because he has to refit his dress, which could really screw him up since its shape and fit are so evident through the hundreds of million flags flapping off it.
Normally, we mostly agree with the judges, but last night we did not understand their affinity for Terri’s dress-pants combo. It was way too much fabric for a night out on the town — Heidi Klum should know that! We have dressed for many a night “out on the town” and never have we looked in the mirror and thought, “You know what this dress is missing? Pants.” No, no — we can assert ladies don’t go to the club wearing so many clothes. We were thankful Kenley’s green floral concoction, with fun purple tulle, took the prize instead.
The final two left standing on the runway are Jennifer and Emily, and we couldn’t care less who goes. Their designs sucked equally and we felt no attachment to either, which means in addition to being questionable designers, they’re really bad reality-TV subjects (on Bravo, that’s a sin). But the judges decide that Jennifer’s satin milkmaid/pilgrim getup is worth redemption, and that Emily’s cheap ruffles take the heinous cake — so they send her packing. She still loves her dress so much we wouldn’t be surprised to see her wearing it out for a night on the town in the meatpacking district. Come to think of it, why didn’t Tim let the designers loose in our cobblestone Styx? Now that would have made for good reality TV.