It felt strange to be watching Rosa Cha’s line of summery bikinis and cover-ups while it absolutely poured rain outside. We imagine this must be what it’s like to be on a strict no-fat diet while attending the Bacon Festival.
Braving the elements was professional lover of girls in bikinis Nigel Barker, thoughtfully seated right next to the lovely Zoe “Center Stage” Saldana, who had to be led to her seat from backstage as though she’d just been struck blind. Hopefully, the power of Nigel’s hotness restored her ability to walk twenty feet on her own.
Walking and talking independently was Lost’s Evangeline Lilly, who was unfortunately wearing the ugliest pants we’ve seen all week. Maybe she’s at Fashion Week to find some new ones? We stared at her for twenty minutes before we realized who she was — probably because we’re used to seeing her scrabbling through the underbrush with Sawyer — but we easily I.D.’d Misses USA (Teen and Original Flavor) thanks to their handy sashes, which we really feel ought to be required for all bold-faced names. We assume they were scouting for future swimsuit competitions, but we have no idea what The Real Housewives of New York’s Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen were doing at the show, other than posing for an endless series of photos. Alex and Simon must be doing something right, though. After all, to our deep, deep shame, we identified them immediately.