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Uniqlo to Stage Best Promotion Ever in Times Square

Uniqlo is promoting its new Heat Tech innerwear by giving it away for free in Times Square next month. Three cheers! Free clothes! But the best part is how they plan to distribute the clothes: with a “giant human vending machine.” Above you see a rendering of said giant human vending machine. We didn’t understand what a giant human vending machine was, so we called up a Uniqlo rep to find out. This is how she described it:

“Basically we’re going to have two mimes. A male and a female mime inside the machine. And the public can see them through glass. When you get there, we’re going to have Uniqlo reps dressed in the silver bodysuits. And they’re going to hold a thermograph scanner — think of an airport security machine. The thermographer identifies cold spots in your body. After you go through that, you go to the vending machine and push a button and the mimes are going to do a synchronized choreographed routine and then your outfit comes out.”

Oh hell yes. Women will go to the women’s side and men will go to the men’s side and get outfits for their respective genders. However only one size will be distributed, which “should fit your average body type.” A few thousand will be given away. Here are event details:

WHAT: Free Uniqlo Heat Tech Innerwear Distributed by Giant Human Vending Machine
WHERE: Military Island, Times Square
Broadway and Seventh Avenue, between 43rd and 44th Streets
WHEN: Tuesday, November 18, 1 p.m.

Uniqlo to Stage Best Promotion Ever in Times Square