Topshop is slated to open in New York on April 2. (For real this time.) But don’t expect a blowout bash with free-flowing Guinness, vinegar-drizzled French fries, Mark Ronson at the turntables, free rides home in double-decker buses, and other unnecessary British panache. Topshop owner Sir Philip Green has decided on a low-key opening due to the economy. So we can confirm at the moment only that one real live British person will be at the opening — Sir Philip. He is hopeful he will have a real live Brit to accompany him — Kate Moss. He told the Daily Mail that Kate “will hopefully be coming over” for the opening “to give it some glamour.” We’re disappointed. We’ve been looking forward to this opening literally since the dawn of time. And Kate Moss can’t even commit to witnessing our dream come true. Our feelings are hurt. Maybe Sir Philip is trying to cut back by flying her commercial. If she doesn’t show, Sir Philip will have to deliver the glamour all on his own. Might we suggest a feather boa and some faux crown jewels?