Not only are nipples fashion’s hottest new accessory, but lately, an increasing number of images are surfacing of lady celebrities doing things out-of-doors in shirts that are completely see-through. Above you see Lily Allen onstage on July 11 in what is probably lingerie; Lindsay Lohan walking around outside in what appears to be a piece of gauze, which reveals she’s wearing an unlined lace bra; and Rihanna in the West Village last week wearing a sheer black top over what looks like a striped bathing-suit top. Rihanna recently took things a step further when she sported only sequined nipple pasties under a blazer on the fourth of July. Compared to that, the above look may as well be a nun’s habit. But that doesn’t make it less concerning.
We’ve yet to notice — and please do note in the comments if you’ve seen something different — a surge of see-through clothes on the streets. But if pantslessness is catching on in nightclubs (we’ve seen girls wearing as bottoms lamé booty biker shorts and slashed leggings — both equally offensive) it’s only a matter of time before essential shirtlessness catches on, too. Perhaps the proliferation of see-through clothing is owed to the rising summer temperatures. But when not properly layered with things other than lingerie (or nothing in Lily Allen’s case), these garments just look desperate and vulgar. Is an opaque top in 84-degree weather really so bothersome? No. No, it is not.
With bona fide pants becoming increasingly rare, we became certain that thighs were the new boobs. But now boobs are the new thighs —so we’ve come full circle, as fashion trends tend to do. This only further solidifies our theory that in a few decades, or maybe just a few weeks, we’ll trade clothes for leaves and other shrubbery like our ancestors from the B.C. years.