In October, the lovely department chain Nordstrom will launch a line of Twilight-inspired clothing, about a month before the movie’s sequel New Moon hits theaters. The line will include graphic T-shirts, like a $32 one that reads “Team Edward” (Robert Pattinson’s character, to you non-Twi-hards) and has hearts all over it. A $30 “Cullen family crest charm necklace,” tank tops, and a plaid jacket are also part of the line. These items are arguably less offensive than Twilight logo tees or tees bearing, say, color-pencil illustrations of werewolves — a creature that apparently screws up a love affair in New Moon (we hate that we now know that). But it’s also like the retail equivalent of selling out, which in These Times is understandable if not admirable. Twilight apparel boosted Hot Topic’s sales 10.8 percent in February, after steady monthly sales increases since November. Not many stores can say that nowadays.
Yet when the line hits stores October 15 — assuming it doesn’t sell out when the online presale begins October 1 — what was once a pleasant shopping experience in Nordstrom will undoubtedly become a treacherous survival mission, as shoppers try to avoid getting clobbered by weeping 12-year-olds with fake vampire teeth and R-Pattz’s face tattooed on their own faces. It’s unclear whether this stuff will make it to Nordstrom Rack, one of which opens in Union Square next spring. Until then, we’ll hold on to our increasingly faint hope that Twilight will fade into the black hole of vampire crazy from whence it came.