manties and their ilk

European Water Park Bans Speedos

Alton Towers, a water park in the U.K., has banned male guests from wearing Speedos. A rep for the park said the newly enacted ban is not a desperate reach for publicity. The “extreme measure” is meant “to prevent embarrassment among fellow members of the public and to maintain the family-friendly atmosphere at the resort.” The Guardian reports:

“While women may hail the return of the skimpy bathers, the style itself is not deemed public or family friendly, and therefore we are requesting that male swimmers wear more appropriate styles such as boardshorts.”

… It is not yet clear whether male bikini waxing, or the full back, sack and crack is being contemplated. Alton Towers said not only men were involved — some women bathers had turned up wearing thongs.

Sure, water parks are gross- and unclean-seeming enough as it is, and the last thing anyone about to ride down a water slide wants to see is a man who needs a front-and-back bikini wax go ahead of them. Plus most of those men probably don’t have the body of Noah Mills. But isn’t the Speedo the very fabric — quite literally and figuratively — of European swim culture? And this ban is even coming from an amusement park that named their kiddie pool the Little Leak. First topless sunbathing goes, and now this. Nipples on the runways could be next.

Alton Towers bans men in Speedos [Guardian UK]

European Water Park Bans Speedos