On Sunday Michelle Obama visited the Grand Canyon with her family. Nothing could be more wholesome than lacing up the sneakers and slapping on the baseball hat to talk geology with the kids in one of the nation’s premier geology destinations on a bright sunny day! Unless you’re the First Lady, and you wear shorts that extend more than two inches above your knees, because you’re in the Grand Canyon in August and it’s effing hot (106 degrees, to be exact) and you don’t want to have sweat stains on your khakis or look like an overdressed fool in a dress and mules. And so the Today Show spent five minutes this morning asking if shorts were “appropriate” for the First Lady. You know, we’ve already seen both of her arms completely bare, so now that we’ve seen her in these shorts we’ve practically seen her in a bikini, and Washington people can’t possibly live down being seen in swimwear. If Michelle had emerged in a crop top and spandex booty shorts or anything else that suggested she just shopped, oh, Amber Rose’s closet, then she’d look inappropriate. Speaking of bathing suits, it’s too bad Michelle will never be able to hit the beach wearing one. The news might implode.