We seriously thought we were seeing things at Narciso Rodriguez on Tuesday night. First we thought we saw Rhea Perlman. We were wrong. Then we thought we saw the actress who plays the younger sister on the television version of 10 Things I Hate About You. Wrong again. Then we thought we saw Rhea Perlman once again. We continued to be incorrect about Rhea. Then we were sure we saw Courtney Love.
Oh, wait. It was Courtney Love. And if she turns up dead tomorrow, we can think of several suspects — namely, every single person sitting in her general vicinity. Because Courtney Love is the runway-show version of someone who talks, texts, and does yoga during a movie. She quite literally did not shut up the entire show. In addition to providing her boy toy with a running commentary — including a rather loud “What’s UP with THAT?” directed toward a perfectly innocuous dress — Courtney fidgeted the whole time. She played with her earrings. She messed up her hair. She waved her arms around. She pointed, both at the models and at people in the audience. She bobbed her head, not entirely in time to the music. After the show was over, she enfolded a woman she may or may not have known into an lengthy and tender embrace, demonstrated how difficult it is to walk in a straight line, and slushily informed a reporter that the show “rocked.” We found this entire display, if not entertaining, at least highly diverting. But the woman sitting next to her was visibly annoyed, and only got angrier as the show continued, perhaps because Courtney’s incessant moving around was blocking her view of the clothing. Had the show had two more looks, we fear they might have come to blows. Our money would have been on Love, for the record.
Although Courtney acted like she was the only person in the room, this was not technically accurate. In addition to all the people, you know, working — like Anna Wintour, with son Charlie in tow, and Carine Roitfeld, sporting majorly enviable shoes — we also saw Emmy Rossum, sporting a seriously complicated hairdo, as well as designer Tory Burch, who looked adorable in a pink Narciso. A few seats down from Courtney sat Jessica Alba, who is extremely, extremely blonde right now — so blonde, in fact, that we’re crossing our fingers it’s for a role rather than a life choice. Not only is it unflattering, but we feel duty-bound to warn her that tonight doesn’t seem like the best time to risk being mistaken for Courtney Love.