As we were walking into the Monarchy show on Friday afternoon, we saw one of the PR girls grab another and hiss, “Is Whatsherface here yet?” It seemed like an apt question. We’d heard rumors that the show was going to be attended by such luminaries as Paula Abdul and two of the New Kids on the Block — just as though we’d all fallen and landed in 1989 — but they were nowhere to be found. You can imagine our disappointment at not being able to use the “Hanging Tough” and “Step by Step” puns we had prepared in advance. Not to mention the delightful uncertainty that comes from being in a room with Paula Abdul! So invigorating. Maybe, we hoped, the elusive Whatsherface would make us feel better about missing out on all the old-school fun.
But the true identity of Whatsherface, sadly, remained a Deep Throat–like secret. We did spy Janice Dickinson — surely everyone knows Janice’s name — mugging in the front row with a deeply tanned and bony Lizzie Grubman. While the concept of those two teaming up gives us the shakes, we must admit that the World’s First Supermodel was looking pretty fierce — and that we’d be too scared to say otherwise even if she didn’t.
Emerging last from backstage were AnnaLynne McCord of 90210 — wearing a black dress open nearly to her navel — and someone we referred to in our notes as “Pretty Brunette Girl” before realizing she was Shannon Elizabeth of American Pie fame. (Shannon Elizabeth: Apparently, you’ll always be Whatsherface to us.) Obscure gossip alert: Shannon and AnnaLynne were seated in the same row as Kellan Lutz (whom you may know from Twilight). Kellan and AnnaLynne have allegedly been having an on-again, off-again amour, and last we read on the Internet, the lovebirds were on the outs. They were definitely not seated next to each other, but it was frustratingly hard to tell from our vantage point if they acknowledged one another in any way: Did they make out? Did she slap him? Did he give her the cold shoulder? Were they taking it, say, step-by-step, or were the lovers hanging tough? And where can we send our thank-you notes for giving us an opening to use that material? So many unanswered questions. Thank God we’ve got a lot of Fashion Week left ahead of us in which to search for the answers.
For more of the Fug Girls, check out Go Fug Yourself.