Project Runway: Obvious Winner Creates No Drama, Results in No Fun
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Project Runway: Obvious Winner Creates No Drama, Results in No Fun

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Irina: Look 1

Photo: Imaxtree
Irina’s first look is a bulletproof-esque vest. The sleeves are too long for the model, which is a recurring theme throughout her (and Althea’s) collection. Is that, like, a thing that we don’t know about? Since we use our hands all day, it seems kind of unproductive to keep them covered up. How would we type in that sweater, is what we want to know.
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Irina: Look 2

Photo: Imaxtree
Oh look, I’m wearing a little beanie on my head! And it looks dumb! The black jacket is nicely structured, and we like the plush-looking collar. So much black, though, already.
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Irina: Look 3

Photo: Imaxtree
We like the neckline of this sweater and the detailing throughout. Also, those leather gloves would probably be very useful swine-flu barriers on the subway. This collection is all about protecting city women, right?
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Irina: Look 4

Photo: Imaxtree
Help, I’m being swallowed whole by a big sweater! And I can’t find my hands! This look isn’t flattering at all, it’s just too bulky for anyone under five foot eight.
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Irina: Look 5

Photo: Imaxtree
This next sweater looks kind of like this homemade one we bought on the streets of Paris as a teenager and which, when wet, smelled like a dead sheep. But the shape is interesting, and we like the color.
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Irina: Look 6

Photo: Imaxtree
A nice but boring fur vest.
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Irina: Look 7

Photo: Imaxtree
Okay, these beanies are freaking us out. They’re like little black condoms atop the models’ heads. This dress is sort of cool, but a little confused, though that’s probably the point. The pleating on the bottom wouldn’t flatter many figures, but the top leather area is well fit and striking.
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Irina: Look 8

Photo: Imaxtree
We love the soothing color and shape of this coat. The collar’s a little too big, but otherwise the proportions work.
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Irina: Look 9

Photo: Imaxtree
A lovely black coat, but where’s the wow factor, Irina? Wow factor!
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Irina: Look 10

Photo: Imaxtree
Ding, ding, ding! — it's our "Reasons to Love" plagiarism! Good thing that beanie has a chain; otherwise we’d rip it off her head. Nina calls the T-shirts “refreshing.” (Though she still calls Irina out for using all black after she’d advised against it.)
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Irina: Look 11

Photo: Imaxtree
Is that a scarf? And we’re sorry, but those pants would not protect a city woman against the heinous wind of New York. Like, at all.
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Irina: Look 12

Photo: Imaxtree
The beanie top is expanding, which is frightening. This evening top is very pretty, what with the shine incorporated into the knit, but it doesn’t read very well on the runway.
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Irina: Look 13

Photo: Imaxtree
This gown seems a little forced, but it’s certainly attractive and flattering. And we think the asymmetric strap is pretty useless. So Irina’s the winner, as the judges decided that her collection was the only one that really had a point of view. Which is ... black? No, we see what they’re saying, though we weren’t as impressed. Oh well, next season will come soon enough.
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Carol Hannah: Look 1

Photo: Imaxtree
Ohhh, nice dress, Carol Hannah! The graphic print stands out, and the color combo adds drama. Nina calls it “very spirited.”
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Carol Hannah: Look 2

Photo: Imaxtree
It’s a tutu! With a turtleneck! Fun.
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Carol Hannah: Look 3

Photo: Imaxtree
When Carol Hannah doesn’t do dresses, clearly the design suffers. What are those rolly necklace extensions for? We’re not feeling them.
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Carol Hannah: Look 4

Photo: Imaxtree
This is a very chic LBD. Though we’re always wary of too much volume adding on pounds if you’re not a six-foot model. But the construction is great.
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Carol Hannah: Look 5

Photo: Imaxtree
This dress is very Carol Hannah — romantic with a modern touch. The black chest strap reminds us of a camping-backpack support, which is inducing some post-traumatic stress.
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Carol Hannah: Look 6

Photo: Imaxtree
This dress looks way better on TV than it does in this picture. We’re not big floral-appliqué fans, but this isn’t our favorite. It also looks kind of hard to walk in.
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Carol Hannah: Look 7

Photo: Imaxtree
Another crazy tutu! But not as cute as the first one. And then necktie is too stewardess for our taste. Fasten your seatbelts; my tutu might attack you. Or something.
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Carol Hannah: Look 8

Photo: Imaxtree
Is this maternitywear? No? Oh.
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Carol Hannah: Look 9

Photo: Imaxtree
This is a beautiful red-carpet look. We love the color and the neckline, and it forgives the tummy area nicely.
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Carol Hannah: Look 10

Photo: Imaxtree
A little bridesmaidesque — maybe it’d work better without the ginormous flower? But it’s right in Carol Hannah’s wheelhouse.
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Carol Hannah: Look 11

Photo: Imaxtree
It’s Superwoman! In green metallic shorts. We don’t understand this.
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Carol Hannah: Look 12

Photo: Imaxtree
This kind of looks like a big designer jellyfish.
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Carol Hannah: Look 13

Photo: Imaxtree
This gold gown finished Carol Hannah’s collection well, though it’s a little Oscar statuette-esque. It’s too bad her collection lacked coherence, because individually, we liked her looks the best (and maybe we were biased by her spunky personality). Feel better, Carol Hannah! See you never again.
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Althea: Look 1

Photo: Imaxtree
Why are all the sleeves too long? The sweater is well made, and again, looks comfy, but fashion isn’t about comfort, people! Maybe that’s why it’s over a leather jumpsuit.
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Althea: Look 2

Photo: Imaxtree
I see London, I see France, I see the model’s crotch. The top detail on this otherwise plain black dress keeps it from being too boring, and we like the double belt.
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Althea: Look 3

Photo: Imaxtree
Althea does high-end streetwear with a little leath-a jacket and some tan silk pants.
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Althea: Look 4

Photo: Imaxtree
Where do you wear this outfit? Around Aspen? Around heaven? The crotch is bulging, and the bottom of the pants aren’t working for us. Our mom calls it “pretty,” though.
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Althea: Look 5

Photo: Imaxtree
The fact that these pants make this model look a normal size (instead of a 00), says something about their unflattering nature. But the rest of the hip suit works well, and we love the jacket and want it.
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Althea: Look 6

Photo: Imaxtree
Someone stole my shirt! The bulkiness of this sweater is off-putting, and the shoulders are too severe, in our opinion. The model has the most impressive chest we’ve ever seen.
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Althea: Look 7

Photo: Imaxtree
"Hey guys, I’m here in my strangely shaped leather jumpsuit, ready to get down!"
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Althea: Look 8

Photo: Imaxtree
This is a cute but unremarkable off-the-shoulder eighties sweater. The leather skirt is just the right length.
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Althea: Look 9

Photo: Imaxtree
Look, a color! Thank God! This green dress is awesome — we’d like to see it without the leather jacket on top. Nina loves it, BTW.
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Althea: Look 10

Photo: Imaxtree
This evening look is pretty; we love the silver top, but it’s too long on the bottom. Mid-calf cutoff! Mortal sin.
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Althea: Look 11

Photo: Imaxtree
This dress is a little Contempo Casuals, but it works. The draping gives it a nice shape, and that gray is quite chic.
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Althea: Look 12

Photo: Imaxtree
We actually really like this white dress. The fabric looks expensive, and the leather belt gives it an edge. We’re not in love with the length, but beggars can’t be choosers, as the saying goes.
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Althea: Look 13

Photo: Imaxtree
On this model, this dress is gorgeous. It would make us look like a washed-out sausage. But that’s not the point, we know. Overall, Althea’s collection impressed the judges, but they didn’t think it got to the “futuristic” heart of what she was going for. Well, duh. But Suzy saw “some great knitwear,” and Althea is happy just being a finalist.


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