panty parade

H&M Cannot Top the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Last night the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show finally aired, making this, hopefully, the last post we will do on it this year. And it was a tremendous effort on behalf of the Victoria’s Secret people, indeed. Not to be outdone, the H&M people put together a fashion-show parade of the lingerie collection Sonia Rykiel did for them and staged it yesterday. Whether the timing was a coincidence or not, the holiday marketing schemes beg to be pit against each other in an arbitrary contest to determine a winner.

First up, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. This year’s America’s Next Top Model–esque addition to the broadcast of the national model search that the company staged made the whole thing extra ridiculous and therefore extra difficult to compete with (that photographer pointing out one girl’s “extremely large breasts” and nothing else about her was such a treat to watch). Also, the Black Eyed Peas performed! We were dreading their booms and pows and mazel tovs, but once they took the stage to serenade the models, we realized they were actually the perfect choice, for the Black Eyed Peas are to the music world what the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is to the fashion world.

Another pro of the VS show are the models, who are not only diligently spray-tanned but also instructed to dance on the runway. Models with no fat tend not to possess an innate sense of rhythm, but such awkwardness is so compelling!

Now, as for the Sonia Rykiel H&M show in Paris, it wasn’t nearly as neon or glittery, which was its first downfall. But also, organizers relied on the clothes themselves to sell the clothes. Victoria’s Secret knows better, so they weigh the girls down with sandbags and wings and tube socks and other eye-catching things. Also, models in the Sonia Rykiel show didn’t even walk. They just stood or posed on floats.

It’s perhaps not fair that we have to view this without the frenetic sportscasting-like announcing CBS is so good at. But balloon trees and a few swings can’t make up for 2.86 pounds of body glitter per model.

Video: Sonia Rykiel for H&M launches with quite a spectacle [Sassybella]
Related: It Takes Five People and Twenty Layers of Butt Makeup to Ready Each Victoria’s Secret Model for the Show
Behind the Scenes of H&M’s Giant Sonia Rykiel Lingerie Show

H&M Cannot Top the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show