Will the indignities we suffer over this economy never end? Reports surfaced today that senior Vogue staffers were told to start taking the subway instead of Town Cars. The cost-cutting measure by publisher Susan Plagemann (whom the Post dubs “Cab Killer”) was no doubt not exactly popular. “Senior people have been told they must take more subways to meetings as opposed to Town Cars to save money,” one source anonymously told the Post. Even — gasp — the associate publisher, Lottie Oakley, had to hit the train. And so, in an effort to help our fashionable sisters and gays at Vogue, here’s a little primer on the ins and outs of the glorious subway.
1. Eye contact is bad. Anna’s constant sunglasses will come in mighty handy here. You never know if the person you’re looking at is kind of cute and quirky, or crazy. Always err on the side of crazy.
2. Hand sanitizer is your friend. Use plenty. (Seriously, we once got pinkeye from touching the subway pole and rubbing our eye after. Yeah, gross.)
3. This is the perfect time to catch up on your reading of other magazines. This also helps you avoid eye contact.
4. If all the train cars are packed except for one, do not enter the empty one. It smells like poop.
5. This will be the hardest of all: Commute in flats, and change into heels in your office.
Onward, fashion soldiers. And if you get lost, there are maps everywhere. Godspeed.
Vogue subway drill [Page Six/NYP]