“This is a DISASTER,” the man next to us in line to get into Diesel Tuesday evening announced, and for once, this wasn’t just over-the-top yelping from a drama-queen fashionista. Trying to get into Diesel was a disaster. At some point, someone had decided that it would be a good idea to ask people — ticketed or not, seat assignments or not — to wait in the courtyard outside the W for quite some time prior to the show. In February. In the middle of a snowstorm.
This went over about as well as you can imagine. “They better have an amazing collection,” we heard someone else bitch. “This is ridiculous,” was also a common refrain, as well as, “I can’t feel my hands.” And that was before the tiny tent over the PR crew relaxed just enough to dump a giant pile of snow on top of several people’s heads.
Once we got underneath that cruel tent, we then had to a wade through a giant, spreading lake of water — which some poor beleaguered girl was trying to push away with a snow shovel — to get into another tent, and then finally, FINALLY, we crossed into the venue. “It was a battle to get in,” the man sitting next to us moaned. “I just don’t understand.” Neither did we. But almost more confounding was the fact that runway-diva extraordinaire Miss J was sitting just a few seats down from us in the second row. Much as no one put Baby in the corner, we firmly believe that no one puts Miss J in the background.
As far as the front row went, we spied Daisy Lowe (who was allowed to skip the Line of Doom outside), Amber Le Bon, and Leigh Lezark, making for a triumvirate of shiny-haired brunettes. Holding court for a long time in the center of the runway was Amber Heard, whom we remember from the CW’s truly terrible Hidden Palms, and who semi-recently was in Pineapple Express. She also appeared in four movies last year, and has four coming out this year, but we still overheard someone describe her as “someone who was in … something.” The bits of Amber’s interviews that we heard were rather quirky. When asked how many hours she slept last night, she bristled, then consented and admitted it was twelve. “That’s a lot,” the reporter said. “Yes,” she answered flatly. Then the guy asked her how many inches her platform pumps were and she replied, as if cultivating an air of mystery, “Too many. And yet not enough.” And she later explained that the shirt she was wearing was actually a dress, the sides of which she’d tucked into her pants. Apparently looking like you were rushed out of the bathroom is super hot for fall. We were about to write Amber off as a bit of an odd duck until the reporter asked what makes her nervous, and Amber’s answer was, “Public speaking.” Kind of tough if you’re an actress, and are thus paid to say words out loud in front of people, but we understand being antsy about interviews. But at least she looked immaculate; imagine how much more terrifying it would’ve been if she’d had to do it after getting a bucket of snow dumped on her head. Small mercies everywhere.