The buzz at Christian Siriano’s show Friday was about the New Jersey Real Housewives’ star supposedly in attendance. And by “buzz” we mean “enraged rants,” judging by the woman we overheard fuming about it. “I mean, she’s been famous for what, FIVE MINUTES, and for doing NOTHING, and she gets FRONT ROW?” she spat at her seatmate, gesturing at somebody in the crowd. “It’s DISGUSTING. I guess I’m only a WRITER.”
We feel you, lady. Hopefully it will make her feel better to know that not only didn’t we spy any of the New Jersey cast from our vantage point (though we did see Bravo honcho Andy Cohen), but the front-row dweller she thought was a Housewife was in fact singer Kat Deluna. The confusion is partially understandable: Although Kat looks as much like a housewife/Housewife as a camel looks like a garden shed, we are equally confused by her front-row status, since we still don’t think we’ve ever heard any of her music. She was plenty interesting to the photographers, though; they swarmed her, leaving poor Veronica Webb almost totally ignored. That’s a shame, too, because La Webb looked fantastic in a pink and orange dress, pink tights, and fun blue shoes that were a cross between Wellingtons and regular knee-high heeled boots. We don’t see what’s so bad about living in a snowy climate when you can have that much fun with waterproof footwear.
America’s Next Top Model cycle-seven winner CariDee English arrived in what looked like snakeskin leggings and the most ridiculous mohawk-bouffant we’ve ever seen: platinum, teased high and long down the back, sides slightly shaved. It was very Brigitte Nielsen meets early Billy Idol, and, aptly, CariDee did spend the duration of the show dancing with herself. She grooved delightedly in her seat (just a few doors down from the composer, Siriano’s boyfriend Brad Walsh), and appeared to be videotaping the whole thing — which was actually incredibly annoying, because her camera had a very bright flash that stayed on almost the entire time. We’re surprised one of the photogs at the end of the runway, or in fact anyone in the rows opposite her, didn’t run over and smack it out of her hand.
Actress Kristen Johnston seemed flustered by the media crush on the runway, trying to excuse herself several times from the photographers so that she could get a water, and eventually having to curtail an interview so that she first could find her seat: “I’m having a claustrophobia attack here. It’s like, ‘Aaaaah!’ It’s too much.” Down the way, Amber Rose (famed Kanye paramour, significantly less famed model) held court looking oddly nice and normal in her dress. “Ew, she’s so, like, HOT,” sniffed a fellow looky-loo. We were more curious about whether she’d strike up a conversation with Johnston, since they have so much in common — KJ played an alien on 3rd Rock From the Sun; Amber usually appears to be an alien — but alas, they were too far apart. Instead, Amber sat next to Leigh Lezark, who sent a few texts from the show, possibly to whatever force of the universe gets her such amazing seats to everything. Seriously, Fashion Week is pretty much the only reason we know who she is, because she is everywhere, despite being relatively anonymous anywhere else.
Speaking of relative anonymity, attendee Mena Suvari — whose tight topknot was very Xanadu — won’t be pleased to hear that we heard a photographer describing her as “some American Idol type.” Might be time to get a new agent, Mena. Or possibly time to go on American Idol for real. At least that’s the kind of reality show where you’re famous for having a skill, which at the very least will keep the peanut gallery from becoming enraged.