When we got to the Charlotte Ronson show, it was such a drama trying to get past all the gate-crashers and various other uninvited persons, we noted to a woman next to us that this show might be the new Heatherette. Though that may have been the case outside, where people were pushing and shoving like Ronson’s tent venue was actually the final lifeboat off the Titanic, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), we weren’t greeted with excessive Heatherette-ian shenanigans once we got to our seats, unless you consider an overly pumped-up ceiling fan situation to be the height of excess.
There was, however, a generous helping of celebrities, although it’s possible that some of them were just there to hear Samantha Ronson spin. First on the floor — by nearly twenty minutes — was Whitney Port, accompanied by her friend Samantha Swetra (or, as we call her, “that girl on The City who works at Bergdorf”). Whitney was wearing a highly questionable outfit consisting of pleated khaki shorts layered over nude, footless pantyhose. Dude, you’re sitting next to a girl who works at Bergdorf — can’t you pull it together better than that?
Pulled together considerably better than that was teen actress/singer Keke Palmer, who both looked very cute in a short blue dress and was incredibly polite to all the photographers vying for her attention. We better enjoy it while it lasts, because the kid is 16 and if past teen stars are anything to go by, she’ll probably be insufferable in three years.
Speaking of teen stars, seated across the aisle from Keke was Ugly Betty’s Mark Indelicato. “She is a hot mess,” he said to his companion as we walked by. We don’t think he was talking about us, but hey — it has been a long day. It had apparently also been a long day for Brit “It” Girl Peaches Geldof, who nearly ran us over on her mad dash to get to her seat, with nary an apology. She barreled over us so completely, in fact, that we can testify to the fact that although she may be slightly rude, her skin is flawless. Luckily, Peaches essentially shoved us into the arms of one Solange “Knowles,” whose ensemble we certainly would not have wanted to overlook: a crazy printed jacket, a jaunty cap in a similar but not entirely coordinated crazy print, and a skirt covered entirely with grommets. Remind us again why Beyoncé gets all the attention in that family? Other than, you know, all the talent?
Across from Solange sat Erin Lucas, formerly of The City, wearing what looked like a black satin shorts romper. Although she’d clearly gotten the memo about former and current MTV reality-show stars wearing shorts, she had been placed quite a ways away from Whitney and Samantha. Has her defection from the MTV show ruined their totally scripted, fake relationship? We may never recover.
We’re also never going to recover from seeing who was facing Erin: Matt freaking Dillon, who didn’t appear to be doing any press beyond sitting there looking agelessly hot. “Is that MATT DILLON?” the reporter next to us gushed. “OMG, I love him.” This was a much more enthusiastic response than the one we overheard as we walked past socialite — and former Heatherette featured walker (full circle!) — Tinsley Mortimer. “Tinsley. Wow,” a dude said to her, in the same deeply unenthusiastic tone that you’d expect from someone saying something like, “Tinsley. Wow, you’ve got bed bugs.” But maybe he just misses Tinsley’s ringlets as much as we do.