We spent the entire winter last year searching for a decent hat. One that fit our small head without looking too stocking-cap-ish, and was interesting enough, but didn’t clash with everything we owned. The story has a sad ending: We went hatless for the entire freezing, godforsaken months of November through March. The moral is that hats are hard. They’re either way too big or small, way too utilitarian, or way too fedora-like. Or, you know, too much like a Victorian-era Edward Scissorhands nightmare. But that’s if you’re looking at hats made by Philip Treacy, the soft-spoken milliner on last night’s Project Runway. The contestants had to design outfits around his bizarre and beautiful creations: One looked like a striped Frisbee, one was a sex-party mask, and one looked like “a big vagina.”
But first let’s remember poor Ivy, who’d fainted last week and was taken to the hospital for dehydration. She has good friends like Gretchen and Valerie who say they aren’t surprised that she collapsed, as “she drinks and smokes a lot.” Ivy is fine, if a little embarrassed, and she drew inspiration from her hospital curtains, so all in all, it was a productive visit to the ER.
Is it just us, or is Mr. Treacy a little creepy? He looks like a cross between Andy Warhol and Ebenezer Scrooge, and sounds a little like Mickey Mouse. But his hats are certainly works of art, and some of the designers have issues making outfits that complement them. Valerie wants to go all David Bowie with her look, while Mondo listens to the voices of the fabrics at Mood (“Come buy me, Mooondo! I will make your model look like the prettiest little boy!”). Kristin complains a lot about her orchid hat, and then turns a corner, which ends up leading her right into a big fat fugly silk dress. Michael C. lacks confidence, and is convinced he’s going to fail, which is Project Runway speak for “win the challenge.” Gretchen continues to be obnoxious and judgy, and yet annoyingly backs up her trash-talking with decent designs. Speaking of trash-talking, let’s move on the runway show. It’s about time!