simon says

Simon Doonan’s Four Big Tips for Navigating the Barneys Warehouse Sale

Barneys warehouse sales are notorious for being packed to the gills with racks of designer clothing and the people who passionately, aggressively, and sometimes even violently want to buy them. This season’s sale, which kicks off tomorrow at 8 a.m. sharp, will be no exception, sporting the usual 50-70 percent off a selection of Barneys’ usually prohibitively pricey inventory. But fear not those AmEx-wielding, Marc Jacobs–obsessed, rack-pawing crowds! Barneys creative director Simon Doonan has bestowed upon us some choice words of wisdom for making the most of the markdowns (and, uh, possibly finding a new boy toy).

Tip No. 1: The Warehouse Sale is very overstimulating. If you have problems with ADD, then make sure you take all your meds before you come — otherwise you will totally freak out.

Tip No. 2: It’s a great place to meet a husband — especially downstairs in the men’s tailored-clothing section. If you see a dude who interests you, then offer to help him pick out neckties to go with his suits. Men are insecure about style. He will love the unsolicited opinion. And if he doesn’t, then **** him!

Tip No. 3: Wear your best brassiere. There are no changing rooms, so everyone is going to see your foundation garments.

Tip No. 4: Keep coming back. There are new deliveries every day!

There. Now go count your pennies and get ready to wait in line.

Simon Doonan’s Four Big Tips for Navigating the Barneys Warehouse Sale