maximum boobage

What Would Kim Kardashian Do? Probably Show Some Cleavage

If you’ve ever stood on a subway platform, sweating profusely, and thought to yourself, God, I wonder what Kim Kardashian would do right now, your prayers have been answered.

KK shared her most exclamatory tips for beating the summer heat in style — complete with cleavage-heavy photo illustrations! — on her website yesterday. Here’s what we were able to glean from her advice.

The tip: Toss a barely there cover-up over your bikini and you can wear it pretty much anywhere.
Says Kim: “Cover ups are so multi-functional! I always carry one with me at the beach. Whether you’re feeling a little self-conscious, or you want to grab some lunch by the beach, a sarong or simple slip dress is a life-saver!”
The takeaway: It’s easy to show off your boobs, even when you’re not supposed to be showing off your boobs.

The tip: Wear jewelry to the beach.
Says Kim: It’s fun and sparkles in the sun … let’s be honest, how many of us actually fully submerge ourselves in the ocean and go for a long swim. Sometimes it’s fun to feel glamorous on the beach!”
The takeaway: Wearing jewelry — especially sparkly necklaces — helps draw attention to your boobs.

The tip: Wear big sunglasses.
Says Kim: “Just don’t fall asleep with them on like I did last year ;)”
The takeaway: Wearing big sunglasses makes it easier to surreptitiously see who is checking out your boobs.

The tip: Get a tan before going to the beach.
Says Kim: “If you go on vacay pale and pasty you’ll just end up harming your skin and frying yourself trying to get the perfect tan as quickly as possible. One of the best tips I have for you is to use a self-tanner before you hit the beach. That way you’ll have a nice glow, you wont feel the need to rush your tan and you can make sure you use a high SPF sun lotion to protect your skin and tan safely. Our sunless tanner Kardashian Glamour Tan is amazing, so you guys should definitely try it out if you haven’t already.”
The takeaway: Boobs look better tanned with Kim Kardashian tanning lotion, especially if you plan on showing them off!

What Would Kim Kardashian Do? Probably Show Some Cleavage