This season of America’s Next Top Model might be the cruelest yet. Tyra Banks has already employed a cosmetic dentist to widen the gap in one contestant’s front teeth and forced the girls to walk on a suspended runway made of glass. This week she made the girls walk on a runway outfitted with a conveyor belt that looked to have been deliberately sped up as the girls stepped onto and off of it. Some reality shows just try to make the contestants fight with each other and generally go crazy, but Tyra always makes sure the contestants fight with each other and fall down on some sort of insane ass runway (last season she forced them to walk through swinging pendulums). Maybe this is why Tyra is such a great entertainer, and this is why ANTM is so successful, even though it didn’t become remotely legit until last season: Tyra understands that the public knows few greater thrills in life than watching a model fall down on the runway during a fashion show.
For the photo challenge this week, the girls had to pose with a Mexican wrestler and look like they were kicking ass. “This is SO Italian Vogue,” our favorite reality television judge in history, André Leon Talley, tells Anne, the contestant who had previously made him some slamming fried Oreos. In fact the girls are starting not to like Anne, now that she’s won best photo four weeks in a row, and, well, loves to eat a lot of fried Oreos while she keeps winning. But moving on, Talley offered some advice to a girl with a less fortunate photo. “My suggestion to you would have been to just sit on top of the pile of flesh with your legs crossed like you were at a luncheon at the Plaza Hotel,” he tells a girl who sits on a wrestler wearing a leotard, fishnets, and over-the-knee boots with her legs spread. See more of Talley’s genius modeling insights — and the girls falling on the moving runway — in our montage of last night’s episode’s best moments.
