Picture this (in black and white, if you will): Taylor Swift, her arm strategically positioned over an unwieldy bosom, lying over a broken toilet seat set in a damp, mildewed warehouse in Bushwick, wearing nothing but a modesty thong that has been Photoshopped away, her hair frizzy and tousled, her eyes rimmed in tar, with lipstick smeared down her neck. Photo credit: Terry Richardson. Magazine: Purple. On the next page: her naughty bits hidden by a naked Abbey Lee Kershaw. The shock waves felt across America would cause every Claire’s to spontaneously implode. Sequin dresses everywhere would be seized by identity crises and might come to life and start destroying the world. Thankfully, this terrifying scenario the planet is clearly not ready for isn’t happening. But something that has left presidential historians in a similar state of shock has: Barack Obama wearing toe-exposing shoes.