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Can You Guess Which Excerpt Lady Gaga Wrote for Her New V Column?

This is Lady Gaga, possibly covered in mucus.
This is Lady Gaga, possibly covered in mucus.

Here’s a game: Can you tell which excerpt below is Lady Gaga’s real new V column, and which is the fake one?

Here’s option one:

You don’t speak German but you can if you like. It is this empowering notion of magicalness that makes my heart soar on the gilded wings of my thoughts, into the lightening bolts of creativity that have defined the art in heart. The art of my heart, of my truest self, is not a wig or an eye liner or a pair of platform patent leather boots from a stripper shop in the Lower East Side, or the cocaine-crusted coffee table from the hallows of my past. It is that captivating feeling I get when I am sitting in my tour bunker, staring at the pendulum in my grandfather clock as it swings back and forth, from one extreme to the other — from the utmost right-ness to the utmost left-ness — ultimately melding into one fluid ticktock. That is my soul, my inner-ness, my light.

Here’s option two:

You don’t speak German but you can if you like. It is this empowering notion of magicalness that makes my heart soar on the gilded wings of my thoughts, into the lightening bolts of creativity that have defined the art in heart. The art of my heart, of my truest self, is not a wig or an eye liner or a pair of platform patent leather boots from a stripper shop in the Lower East Side, or the cocaine-crusted coffee table from the hallows of my past. It is that captivating feeling I get when I am sitting in my tour bunker, staring at the pendulum in my grandfather clock as it swings back and forth, from one extreme to the other — from the utmost right-ness to the utmost left-ness — ultimately melding into one fluid ticktock. That is my soul, my inner-ness, my light.

FROM THE DESK OF LADY GAGA: THE TRANSFORMATIVE POP STAR ON MAKING FANTASY A REALITY [V]

Can You Guess Which Excerpt Lady Gaga Wrote for Her New V Column?