Sometimes fashion is a theoretical pain, and sometimes fashion is the actual pain of getting your face gouged out by somebody’s shoulder horns. And never are we happier to put ourselves in horns’ way than at The Blonds, where the people-watching before the show can be just as satisfying as the intricate creations coming down the runway. For instance, we saw Johnny Weir — in gold, studded slippers and shorts — posing for pictures with Bam Margera and Porcelain Black’s boobs (and also her face, but who was looking at that?); Jay Manuel, wearing kneesocks that looked like they were made of pinstripe-pants fragments, sitting next to J. Alexander and cracking up the runway diva extraordinaire; and of course, a man wearing a hat made of a rifle with a baby-doll head attached to the muzzle, and another dude sporting bedazzled torso antlers that almost beheaded us. All that was missing was Amanda Lepore wearing a teddy. No, wait, hang on, that happened too.