Finally Kate Middleton is out in a new dress! One that looks like … a nightgown. What makes it almost worse than its shapelessness is the fabric, which looks to be jersey, and therefore clingy enough to reveal she doesn’t have the baby bump news outlets wish she had. Don’t freak out — she’s not pregnant, but see how easily startled you were by the preceding sentence? And if you were just casually listening to Good Morning America while you were wearing your red bathrobe and taking your curlers out this morning, you might have mistaken what they were talking about for a story about Kate being pregnant. Then you might have told your friend at work who might have told her daughter the blogger who might have convulsed in her cubicle until the clip of what got misconstrued was found.
The story is about how when Kate gets pregnant — Not that she is! This isn’t THAT fun! — the U.K. might pass a law so that her firstborn, whether boy or girl, can be monarch. The monarchy is an old and backward institution with a law that states that if there’s a boy in the family, he gets to be king even if he has an older sister. Prime Minister David Cameron wants to change the law apparently — “all in the name of girl power,” Good Morning America reports. In this fantastic segment, they managed to include footage of the Spice Girls, cartoons of babies wearing crowns, and lots of easy-to-misconstrue phrases. The reporter also states that this new law could have something to do with Kate’s unborn daughter liking the Spice Girls. As though her unborn daughter, or anyone really, needed a reason to do that.