All the Looks From Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video
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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Nicki Minaj

Why: Well, in the off chance you weren't already aware things are going to get explicit.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Double Dutch.

Why: Because buns of steel (see next slide) require cardio.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Yes, buns of steel — in a yoga pose that takes some practice.

How: Some people are just that flexible.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: :O

Why: Because when in doubt, use an emoticon.

 

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: A big gold Barbie necklace and four designer watches.

Why: Hip-hop artists don't look highly upon tardy colleagues.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Veritable tongue gymnastics.

How: More yoga?

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Chunks of mango?

Where: In a clear plastic bowl that, judging from Nicki's expression, doesn't meet the fruit bowl standards laid out in her rider.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Theatrical -- nay, drag queen-worthy -- disgust.

Why: She's still not over the above mango bowl, really.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Wide eyed naivete that belies the cussing. Also newly-noted cheekbones, freckles, and some hair-dye left over from Katy Perry's recent experiments.

Where: All painted over Nicki's actual face. It's under there somewhere.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: One big Barbie doll-style butt.

How: Not yoga.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Planking.

Where: On a very expensive car.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: A very distressed looking monkey.

Why: He has NO nail polish, or hair dye!

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: An absence of pants.

Why: To counter-balance the excessive collar.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Backup dancers caught mid-squat.

Why: Well, they did all that hard work dancing for the video, and only got one short scene where they're not in silhouette.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Eyelashes resembling a handlebar mustache.

Why: Nicki wants a sponsorship deal with Latisse.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Crazy eyes, and lots of different stick-on nails

Why: Because why wear just one manicure when all five different patterns match your leopard-print body paint just so?

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: The 2012 Superbowl.

Where: Who knows? This is a fashion blog.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: A very big chair.

Why: This is the part of the story where GoldiPinki-locks tries out Papa Bear's chair, which is too big and uncomfortable.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Creepy anime-style eyes, yellow lipstick, and a lot of post-production airbrushing.

How: Well, except the lipstick, exactly how Gaga did it in "Bad Romance." Although now that that video is over 2 years old, it's more of a tribute than a rip-off.

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: Still stuck in a cage, pretending to be a leopard.

Why: Because nobody's unlocked it yet!

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All the Looks from Nicki Minaj's New "Stupid Hoe" Video

Photo: YouTube/NickiMinajVEVO

What: A sneer.

Why: Presumably because Nicki "is the female Weezy."

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