What: Nicki Minaj
Why: Well, in the off chance you weren't already aware things are going to get explicit.
What: Double Dutch.
Why: Because buns of steel (see next slide) require cardio.
What: Yes, buns of steel — in a yoga pose that takes some practice.
How: Some people are just that flexible.
Why: Because when in doubt, use an emoticon.
What: A big gold Barbie necklace and four designer watches.
Why: Hip-hop artists don't look highly upon tardy colleagues.
What: Veritable tongue gymnastics.
How: More yoga?
What: Chunks of mango?
Where: In a clear plastic bowl that, judging from Nicki's expression, doesn't meet the fruit bowl standards laid out in her rider.
What: Theatrical -- nay, drag queen-worthy -- disgust.
Why: She's still not over the above mango bowl, really.
What: Wide eyed naivete that belies the cussing. Also newly-noted cheekbones, freckles, and some hair-dye left over from Katy Perry's recent experiments.
Where: All painted over Nicki's actual face. It's under there somewhere.
What: One big Barbie doll-style butt.
How: Not yoga.
Where: On a very expensive car.
What: A very distressed looking monkey.
Why: He has NO nail polish, or hair dye!
What: An absence of pants.
Why: To counter-balance the excessive collar.
What: Backup dancers caught mid-squat.
Why: Well, they did all that hard work dancing for the video, and only got one short scene where they're not in silhouette.
What: Eyelashes resembling a handlebar mustache.
Why: Nicki wants a sponsorship deal with Latisse.
What: Crazy eyes, and lots of different stick-on nails
Why: Because why wear just one manicure when all five different patterns match your leopard-print body paint just so?
What: The 2012 Superbowl.
Where: Who knows? This is a fashion blog.
What: A very big chair.
Why: This is the part of the story where GoldiPinki-locks tries out Papa Bear's chair, which is too big and uncomfortable.
What: Creepy anime-style eyes, yellow lipstick, and a lot of post-production airbrushing.
How: Well, except the lipstick, exactly how Gaga did it in "Bad Romance." Although now that that video is over 2 years old, it's more of a tribute than a rip-off.
What: Still stuck in a cage, pretending to be a leopard.
Why: Because nobody's unlocked it yet!
What: A sneer.
Why: Presumably because Nicki "is the female Weezy."
Trump Considers Terrifying New Policy to Eliminate Transgender Rights
The New Mom Feeling Nostalgic for Her Lap-Dancing Days
It’s Astounding How Many Problems Can Be Solved Just by Waking Up Early
What It’s Like to Be a Baby Nurse for Wealthy Manhattan Families
I Eat Butter Straight
Timothée Chalamet Shared a Tender Photo From the Set of Little Women
Madame Clairevoyant: Horoscopes for the Week of October 22
I Just Got Into Kombucha and Now You Tell Me Probiotics Are Bad?
Elusive ‘Headless Chicken Monster’ Filmed in the Deep Sea
Turns Out Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande Didn’t Do Too Much Wedding Planning
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.