A Play in One Short Act: Sh-t Girls Say in the Fashion Week Bathroom

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The handy users guide to the toilets that is actually posted above each one in the bathroom stalls.
The handy users guide to the toilets that is actually posted above each one in the bathroom stalls.

The Lincoln Center bathrooms — which accommodate twice as many women as men — do not come with your standard plumbing or spacious stalls. They are cramped, tend to smell, and are somewhere between nice Porta-Potties and the bathrooms in Port Authority. If you can tolerate the fluorescent lights and damp stench, you’re likely to overhear a conversation like this one.

Girl 1: Oh my God, will you hold my bag so I don’t have to bring it in the —
Girl 2: Ew, yes. [She slings the bag over her forearm and regards herself in the small mirror above the wet sink.] Oh my God, this bag looks so good on me!!!
Girl 1: Ugh this is so gross but my heel just got stuck in the toilet thing.
(Girl 2 doesn’t seem to hear since she is busy looking at herself and her two handbags in the mirror)
Girl 1: At least these bathrooms are better than the old ones at Bryant Park …
Girl 2: The MUSIC’s better.
Girl 1: Where you had to go in the scary, like, individual things.
Girl 2: Scary.

End scene.

Inside the Fashion Week Bathrooms