Snooki and her startling new cheekbones front this week’s issue of Us Weekly, out today. She confirms the pregnancy everyone already knew about, and explains why she lied (tsk, tsk) about the story prior to splashing it all over a tabloid. Also on newsstands, Elle’s April covers — two photos of a heavily pregnant Jessica Simpson, who confirms she’s having a baby girl. (“Page Six” would like you to know she won’t name the child “Chicken of the Sea,” just in case you were worried.) For one shoot, Simpson’s clothed and posing just like Snooki, but for her second picture she’s not: Cue another aping of the classic pregnant-and-naked Demi Moore Vanity Fair cover … this time, with Simpson, one eyebrow cocked, wearing nothing other than big earrings and a chunky ring.
Even with the Jersey Shore presence, we’re not advocating cat fights — so, metaphorically speaking, who wins this glossy battle of the bumps?