While all the lady Olympians got to show off their tats, run faster than a locomotive, and wear clingy spandex (and, in one case, wings) for the latest issue of Vogue, the male athletes apparently needed more spicing up for their editorial. Conveniently, Karlie Kloss and a bunch of fabulous designer gowns were available, so … problem solved! Vogue didn’t even bother to fit the boys with suits (who needs custom shirts when you’ve got abs like that?), so the menfolk wore their normal sports gear while Karlie was inserted — quite awkwardly, in some cases — into their practice sessions. We examine the full spread in our slideshow.
When confronted with a wedgie of the white-pants variety, it’s only polite to look away.
With gymnast Jonathan Horton; Kloss wears Victoria Beckham.
Don’t all tall people know that it’s rude and insulting to use short people as armrests? At least she abstained from leaning on his head. She probably didn’t want to get hair product on her elbow.
With gymnast Jonathan Horton; Kloss wears Vera Wang.
We just have so many questions about the strange, collage-style Photoshop going on here. Is Karlie supposed to be emerging from the ocean or lying on top of it? Are the splashes coming from her skirt or from Ashton Eaton as he leaps over her in his spandex shorts? Are hurdles are the new half-shells?
With track and field competitor Ashton Eaton; Kloss wears Oscar de la Renta.
And, yes, she’s taller than he is even when she’s standing up. Not sure what the hammer and the discarded clothing are for, although the latter might come in handy for Eaton at some point. But then again, with abs like that, maybe not.
With track and field competitor Ashton Eaton; Kloss wears Lanvin.
More bizarre Photoshopped layers. But it would appear that Ryan Lochte does, indeed, stay on top of the armpit situation. Can’t have that extra drag, you know!
With swimmer (and newly minted Vogue cover star) Ryan Lochte; Kloss wears Stella McCartney.
Yep, she’s taller than he is, too (not quite armresting height, though). That ladder is just so temptingly close.
With swimmer Ryan Lochte; Kloss wears Haider Ackermann.
Count how many balls are in this picture! But really, the midair arm-linking is adorable.
With tennis players Bob and Mike Bryan; Kloss wears Atelier Versace.
More balls … steamy ones.
With tennis players Bob and Mike Bryan; Kloss wears Alexander McQueen.
Finally, here’s one guy who’s taller than Karlie, and she gets to cheat! In other news, now we know what that ladder was really for.
With basketball player Dwyane Wade; Kloss wears Oscar de la Renta.
A much more subdued version of that infamous Lebron and Gisele photo. (In fact, Dwyane looks like he’s dozing off.) Apparently this is what happens when you get too hung up on political correctness.
With basketball player Dwyane Wade; Kloss wears Bottega Veneta.