Fug Girls: Kevin Jonas, His Blouse, and His Wife Canoodle at Badgley Mischka

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images

It wasn’t long after we ventured into the throng at Badgley Mischka on Tuesday morning that we figured out where the buzz was coming from: “Oh. Em. Gee. Jonas,” a girl whispered, craning her neck to get a look. “And there’s a girl!” Makes sense; it turned out to be Married Jonas (as opposed to Eyebrows Jonas and Smash Jonas), a.k.a. Kevin, and his wife Danielle. “God. It’s not even all of them,” sniffed the fan’s friend. “It’s not even Nick. I LOVE Nick.” Dejected, they retreated. Which was for the best, perhaps, as the sight of Kevin’s shirt might have depressed them even more. The unbearably shiny fabric was patterned in mostly blue tones, buttoned all the way up his neck like a straitjacket, and rippling in parts like an old-school 90210 blouse you might see on David Silver while he poked the air with his fingers and rapped limply about tenderness. Throughout the show, Jonas touched either his wife’s knee or her arm, often rubbing the length of the space from shoulder to elbow while she stared forward at the runway. We get it: You’re married. Save some of the canoodling for your reality show, kids.

A non-canoodling Michelle Trachtenberg showed up in the front row in a strapless tweed-look dress with white-framed sunglasses perched on her head. She looked a little distracted, but perhaps she was just wondering why Gossip Girl co-star Blake Lively didn’t invite her to the Secret Wedding of the Century. Katrina Bowden sat next to her, all golden and Cerie-like. And Lauren Conrad came again, in a top knot again, and wearing a dress with a diamond-shaped open back — also a repeat of a silhouette she has worn at least once already. We shouldn’t be shocked. We watched The Hills. Anybody who considered dipping back into the Brody Jenner/Jason Wahler dating well that many times is obviously a creature of habit.

Sprinter Allyson Felix, in another pantsuit (she has worn three so far, speaking of habits), filled out the end of the row — and after much anticipation and nibbling of nails on our parts — we finally got a gymnast at a show in the form of Aly Raisman. She watched most of the show relatively stone-faced (do not play poker with this girl) from her seat next to Felix, where organizers moved her after initially putting her with Trachtenberg. Presumably they wanted to be thematic about things and this was the gold medal section — or they just figured maybe Aly has been too busy her whole life to ever watch any of Gossip Girl. Raisman told us she keeps her medals at home in a safe. “I’m not really there that much to see them. I do sometimes want to look at them, but I don’t do it every day,” she said. “It’s almost more a memory at this point.” Well, it was a whole six weeks ago. When you’re her age, that is kind of an eternity. Aly wore an impressively high pair of heels, considering she just had a nasty fall at an exhibition event. But the knee in question was holding up well. “You can’t really see it, but it’s bruised. It mostly hurts when I go up or down stairs,” she said. “And I am okay in heels. I have to be fashionable, right?” Someone give her an NYFW Gold Medal. And maybe an Advil.

Fug Girls: Kevin Jonas at Badgley Mischka