first days

Katie Couric Launched Daytime Program, Brownie-Shamed Jessica Simpson

Katie Couric was chastised recently for saying that Duchess Kate Middleton has gotten too skinny and needed to eat more. So it was surprising to see the former CBS Evening News anchor kick off her daytime comeback by making country-pop singer and Macy’s designer Jessica Simpson account for her pregnancy-related weight gain. Or the celebrity weeklies’ coverage of her weight gain, anyway.

“[According to them], I’ve been pregnant for like three years,” Simpson joked, wearing an Adele-style conservative black dress and hair bump. “I understand that it sells magazines and stuff,” she added. “I wish I could get a cut.”

Simpson will have to make do with her lucrative contract as a Weight Watchers spokeswoman. Badgering Simpson about those nasty tabloids and eating her feelings, Couric tried to make the interview more than an infomercial for the weight-loss system. But Simpson held her own, lauding “the program” and blaming her weight gain on hormones and a lack of exercise. (She’s now walking seven miles a day.)

“You were also eating a lot of mac and cheese and brownies,” Couric pointed out, asking Simpson to confirm that her favorite kind of brownie, the so-called Slutty Brownie, contains both Oreos and cookie dough. (Here’s the recipe, sluts.) Simpson laughed.

“No more slutty brownies for you, missy,” Couric said. Maybe she can send them all to Duchess Kate. Meanwhile, Couric lauded the singer-songwriter of the show’s theme song, Sheryl Crow, during her appearance.

“You turned 50 this year,” she told the second guest, “Can I just say you’re so smoking hot?”

Crow countered by describing how she felt seeing Couric at a recent dinner party. “When Katie walked in, I was like, ‘Whoa, look at those guns.’”

“It’s a girl-crush thing,” Couric explained to the audience. Then Couric and Crow, both single, came up with the legitimately brilliant idea of a dating reality show for “famous chicks” (Celebrity Bachelorette?) and the already-tried-and-failed idea of “Sex and the City for the over-50 set.”

Katie Couric Brownie-Shamed Jessica Simpson