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Best Blind Date Headgear: Giles Great for deflecting an unwanted kiss.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Best Hide-and-Seek Top: Alberta Ferretti The Where's Waldo of nipples.
Photo: Imaxtree/Alessandro Lucioni
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Best Outfit for Blue Man Group Hookups: Elie Saab Leave no evidence behind.
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Best Crustacean Placement: N°21 Pinch, pinch.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Worst Tan Lines: Alexander Wang Best use of the Edward Scissorhands atelier, though.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Best Tanlines, If You Are Dating Batman: Cushnie et Ochs Your boobs will look like the Batcall.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Best Post-Plastic-Surgery Hat: Giles Please, no overhead light.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Best Couch Potato Look: 3.1 Phillip Lim An easy-access zipper, pockets for stashing snacks, and there's even a chance you'd actually match the co...
Best Couch Potato Look: 3.1 Phillip Lim An easy-access zipper, pockets for stashing snacks, and there's even a chance you'd actually match the couch! Photo: Imaxtree
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Best for Family Game Nights: Alexandre Herchcovitch Lie down, instant chess tournament.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Best Use of Banana Peels: Balenciaga Bananaciaga, outfitter of Tarzan's dream girl. Barbed wire for threeways with Rambo.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Worst Outfit for Meeting the Parents: Giambattista Valli Hello, BOOBS. Photo: Imaxtree
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Worst Outfit for Running to Catch the Bus: Haider Ackermann One false move and BOOBS. Photo: Imaxtree
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Most Little Mermaid–ish: Alberta Ferretti Wet hair and a seaweed top, Ariel's go-to cocktail party look.
Photo: Imaxtree/Alessandro Lucioni
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Most Lisa Frank–Approved: Felder Felder Hot pink, rainbow leopard, gotta be a dolphin somewhere.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Most to-the-Point: Chloé "Action's down here."
Photo: Imaxtree/Alessandro Lucioni
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Most Ready to Turn Back Time: Balmain M.C. Hammer meets the Terminator. Photo: Imaxtree
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Most Likely to be Sold at a Greek Deli: C'N'C Costume National You are the rice to my grape leaf.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Worst Shoes to Wear on
Sesame Street: Céline How many Cookie Monsters need to die before this slaughter ends?
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Best for Identifying Psychopaths: Diane Von Furstenberg Rorschach eveningwear.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Best Attention-Seeking Birthday Crown: Comme des Garçons Hey, you've got some icing on your face.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Best Posture: Lanvin If only they'd had designer body braces when you had scoliosis.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Most Confused: Costume National Is one-leg the new one-shoulder?
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Worst Suit for a Job Interview: Christian Dior File under: Wears the pants, doesn't.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Worst to Wear to the Airport: N°21 Alternately: Best to wear on your date with Magneto.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Most Convincing Human Doily: Valentino Your grandmother will use it to hide the spare roll of toilet paper.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Most Ready to Get Undressed: Custo Barcelona More zipper than garment.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Most Territorial Belt: Dsquared2 Assuming you are dating someone named Dan who has a thing for flowery nipples.
Photo: Imaxtree
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Most Expensive Mosquito Netting: Alexander McQueen. For when your flowery nipples attract insects.
Photo: Imaxtree