gift guide

Meet the World’s Laziest Valentine’s Day Gift

You know those homemade coupon books that lazy people make for their loved ones on Valentine’s Day? The ones full of vouchers for basic acts of kindness — back rubs, filling up the gas tank — which the recipient could never really “redeem” because it would mean the humiliating admission of how loveless their relationship has become? Now you can buy those premade.

E-card purveyor Datevitation wrote the Cut this morning to alert us to their love coupon books, which can be customized to include 20 of some 200 date options — everything from not using your phone for a few hours to porn reenactement sex. (To be fair, their X-rated coupons have much funnier stick figure drawings than we could have come up with.) For $20, they’ll print the IOUs in a book with perforated pages and deliver them to you or your beloved. Next thing you know someone will be hawking prefab macaroni necklaces outside elementary schools for Mother’s Day.