Human reproduction works in mysterious but occasionally brilliant ways. A new study out of the Harvard School of Public Health found that men who watched more than twenty hours of television a week had sperm counts that were 44 percent lower than those of men who watched almost no television. It makes perfect sense from an evolutionary perspective. With The West Wing on Netflix, who would have time to raise the hypothetical children made from those sperm? Better that these bloodlines die off. On the other hand, all’s well in the gym-rat sperm factory. “Men who engaged in moderate to vigorous exercise for 15 or more hours a week had 73% higher sperm count than men who exercised less than five hours per week,” the Los Angeles Times wrote, suggesting the future of the television-loving human race depends on these laptop harnesses.